Kathy Brown's Blog

Josiah

2011-05-17T19:49:00.000-07:00

"Neither before nor after Josiah was there a king like him who turned to the Lord as he did--with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his strength, in accordance with all the Laws of Moses." 2 Kings 23:25

Old Testament reading is resplendent with rich stories of men and women seemingly larger than life to us. Josiah was one such man. Reading Kings and Chronicles can be a bit on the depressing side. As the history of the Kings of Israel and Judah are detailed in these wonderful pages in the Bible, it is disheartening sometimes to read the phrase "...he did evil in the eyes of the Lord..." over and over and over again.

But then someone like Josiah comes along and on reading through what he did during his reign, something inside just wants to bust out in a cheer! Seriously. Just as your heart grows weary with reading the evil the kings before him did, your heart lightens up and becomes filled with hope as you read how Josiah tears down every evil thing those kings and their people had constructed as a substitute for God.

Josiah became king at the age of 8 and reigned for 31 years - I wonder how many it took to tear down the evil that had built up over years and years and years? This man was a man of authority, focus and action, and he applied those traits to completing the tasks he had been divinely given. He appears to be driven to complete the destruction of evil within his kingdom and leads his people by his own example to be holy and personally accountable for their actions.

At 39 years of age, Josiah was killed by the Pharoah Necho king of Egypt. There is no indication of any wrongdoing on Josiah's part - in fact, the Bible indicates Josiah did not stray from doing right in the eyes of the Lord. And yet, he suffered a much earlier death than most.

It seems sometimes as if serving the Lord doesn't guarantee a long life on this earth.....but does guarantee the best life - one filled with purpose and communion with Him.

Struggles

2011-01-10T21:34:00.000-08:00

Does anyone else feel a little bit like Leah?

The number of times Leah is rejected is mind-boggling. Maybe I am just oversensitive seeing as how I am a middle-aged single woman going through a number of struggles. But Leah really got hit hard.

A young man came to town, Jacob, who had been sent from his father to find a wife from his family. He sees Leah's sister Rachel and wants her as his wife. He works for 7 years for their father (Laban) just to achieve that. And on the night of his marriage, Laban sneaks in Leah instead of Rachel for the consummation of the marriage.

Now, right there alone, huge rejection. I think if my father snuck me in to sleep with someone who desired to marry my sister, the thought might cross my mind "Have I no worth as myself?" or "My father doesn't even think I can marry." What was wrong with Leah, I wonder? The bible says she had "weak eyes", but what does that mean? Was she ugly because of weak eyes?

As if that rejection was not enough, after sleeping with Leah, Jacob wakes up and is not happy about this situation at all - he wants Rachel, and is willing to work yet another 7 years to achieve that. So, Laban gives him Rachel as well while he works.

While he is working off this 7 years, God blesses Leah with children because he sees how she is unloved. With each successive child, Leah's thoughts are basically, "Now my husband will love me." In the scriptures, you can hear the plaintive wailing in her heart as one unloved. My heart breaks for Leah and for those, and there are many, who just like Leah, have been passed over or used for someone else's purposes.

God sees your heart and hears your prayer - He will provide love and solace to those unloved.

Remember

2010-11-11T23:33:00.000-08:00

So, it is Veteran's Day in the U.S. and Remembrance Day here in Canada. Both of these countries garner my interest as my life has been lived in both. I did not know until recently that one of my family members, Capt. Michael Joseph O'Brien, who served in the U.S. Coast Guard, also spent some time in Canada, though in Newfoundland and not out here in the prairies. I did not know either, or had forgotten, that his father, my grandfather served in the U.S. Army in the Panama Canal....that was a long time ago for sure.

Anyway, here's a slide show to honor his life and his recent funeral at Arlington.

Part 1

Part 2

Arlington Ceremony

Against All Odds

2010-11-09T22:00:00.000-08:00

Against All Odds

It is the kind of day that legends are made of and of which epic stories are told. And I was there. Please join me as I recount and relive one very interesting day. I’m not telling it in short format, so feel free to skip over any parts you want. But trust me, just as I would not wish this story to unfold in any other way than it did, I would recommend you read every word and let your spirit absorb the wonder of the day.

Saturday morning and I was up at 5:00 a.m. Tired, but looking forward to driving to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, to watch the University of Alberta Golden Bears football team face the University of Saskatchewan Huskies in the playoffs of the 2010/2011 college football season. My friends Bob and Jocelyn have a son – Jean-Marc that plays defense for the Bears and I have watched him play for the past five years. This is his last year of college football. The Head Coach of the Bears is also a friend. Jerry Friesen is the only head football coach I’ve ever known at the college level, and has a very interesting leadership style. He is not a yeller and a screamer at all, but seems to be a quiet encourager – unusual in light of the sport he coaches.

I’m not going to lie. In some ways, it had been a painful year of watching the Bears. Though they started off in September looking strong – they won their first two games – they ended up winning only one more out of the next six games and ended up with a 3-5 record, squeaking into the playoffs in the 4^th spot. The weekend before, we had traveled to the University of Calgary to get trounced by the Dinos by a score of 37 – 5 and I thought it was the worst game I had experienced to date. The very first play, we returned the kickoff for a touchdown, but because of a holding penalty, it was taken back. A few weeks before, I had watched the University of Saskatchewan defeat us decisively at our homecoming game 33 – 9. And the week before that, I watched us work hard to win a game against the University of Calgary and had the game stolen from us with only a few minutes to go in the 4^th quarter. There was a decisive point where one of our guys could not quite receive a pass, but tipped it right into the hands of a Dino who ran 45 yards for a touchdown.

It was at this point, when this highly improbable interception happened, it occurred to me that something bigger than these games was going on. Seriously, they were now losing games against all odds. They were playing well in some games, getting a lead, but then losing in the most unlikely ways. My thought then was “God is working on someone or something.” I believed it then and believe it now.

From this fan’s perspective, there was a lot of hard work going on, but very few results. But when supporting your friends, it is important to just appreciate their hard work – if I see someone working hard for their objectives or for something they love to do, I am willing to throw my weight (which is considerable) behind them. These guys did not appear lazy or complacent. A key play would happen for the opponent and our team would receive the short end of the stick yet again.

Saturday, their task was to play and win against the #3 team in the country of Canada – the University of Saskatchewan Huskies – and on the Huskies’ home turf to boot. Saskatchewan takes their football seriously. They are consistently good performers. Bob and Jocelyn’s other son, Cory, played for them for four years and had some great experiences. Griffiths Stadium is a beautiful stadium that seats 5,000 fans. Back in 1936, on opening day of the first Griffiths Stadium, the Huskies beat the Golden Bears 5-3. The stadium was rebuilt a few hundred yards from the original site in 1967 with additional improvements in 2006, thanks to a $5M donation from PotashCorp.

Arrival at Griffiths Stadium – 12:10 p.m. Weather conditions – sunny and warm. Stadium conditions – Bears fans outnumbered by Huskies fans by an estimated factor of 200 to 1. Over 3,500 in attendance.

5:15 a.m. – hop in shower, dress in requisite Golden Bears hoodie, pack a bag with books and computer, head over to meet Bob and Jocelyn at 6:15 a.m. We picked up Nancy Glesman and a cuppa jo at the Sherwood Park Tim Horton’s on the way. The drive from Edmonton to Saskatoon was beautiful since the day was quite beautiful. Unseasonably warm temperatures, sunny skies, and the sunny dispositions of my travelling companions made for a thoroughly enjoyable trip.

We stopped in Battleford for some lunch. Bob showed us a newspaper with a headline claiming that Saskatchewan feared an upset by the Bears. I told Bob that I did not believe any of the Huskies feared the Bears. In that same article one of the Huskies was quoted as saying there was no way this was going to be a bad game for him since this was going to be his final post-season. Seriously, the Huskies had a 6-2 season compared to the Bears 3-5 season. Any betting person would realize that a bet on the Bears would be considered a long shot.

Fireworks and a huge cheering squad led the Huskies onto the field. Three minutes later, the Huskies scored a field goal. End of first quarter: Huskies 3, Bears 0.

The Huskies scored the first three points of the game early on. Our defense was having a great day, though, and they held the Huskies back for the entire rest of the first quarter. We were having a good time in the stands – in front of us was a family of 3 generations of men – a grandfather, his son and two grandsons. The young grandsons were quite fun to watch as they experienced one of their early football games. As the foot stomping began in the 1^st quarter, one of the young boys turned to his dad and asked “Why are you doing that?”

A boring second quarter – Huskies scored two more field goals early on, and Edmonton finally kicked a field goal a little over halfway into the 2^nd quarter. End of second quarter: Huskies 9, Bears 3.

It was clear that the Huskies’ quarterback was getting frustrated. His body language and he was quickly on and off the field spoke volumes. A very well-seasoned quarterback, he was used to passing the ball well and having it received well, too. But he threw a number of incomplete passes in the first half of this game. Our defense continued doing a great job, though the Huskies managed to get into position for two field goals. Our kicker did a great job getting a 46 yard field goal to get us on the board at last.

Cory’s girlfriend, Lindsey, joined us, and Cory arrived shortly after halftime. Lindsey is a very interesting young lady and it was fun to hear about how she is working at the fieldhouse in the area of fitness and training with a heart-healthy focus. She comes from a farming family and we had actually passed their farm on our way to Saskatoon. She is very friendly, has an infectious laugh, and it was fun to catch up.

11 minutes into the 3^rd quarter, the Huskies had scored three touchdowns in fairly quick succession. With 7 seconds to spare in the 3^rd quarter, the Bears scored their first touchdown of the game. End of third quarter: Huskies 30, Bears 10.

It was hard to watch the three touchdowns scored by the Huskies. Our defense was being taxed big-time. They spent an inordinate amount of time on the field. Our offense was not able to stay on the field for any significant length of time, and we were looking a little tired. With 7 seconds left in the 3^rd quarter, the Bears’ quarterback pass connected with our receiver, which garnered us our first touchdown. It felt good to get some points on the board, but it still seemed like a long shot to victory.

Glancing toward the sky, there was a large cloud formation that looked like an angel’s wing. I pointed it out to Nancy and Lindsey and laughed at myself for wondering if it was possible that an angel had actually shown up.

Almost halfway into the 4^th quarter, and no further action. At the 7 minute mark, though, the Bears scored again. Huskies 30, Bears 17.

It was great to see the Bears get another touchdown, but we still knew the odds were long they would see victory today. I pointed out to Nancy that the angel wing still appeared to be overlooking us.

Five minutes pass by, and no further scoring. Huskies 30, Bears 17, with less than 3 minutes left in the game.

And then it happened. Something clicked. The Bears scored another touchdown. We were marching down the field, passes were connecting, and the running game was working, too. The Bears’ quarterback looked intense, though he had passed up a few opportunities to run the ball himself, and seemed to let the clock run down unnecessarily a couple of times.

I looked to the sky – Got Wing? Yes.

I knew it COULD happen, but WOULD it? I could not sit – I wanted to really see these plays and I was believing it would happen. There was a little bit of angel wing still in the sky and an energy in our team that I had not seen before. Just about 2 minutes later it did. A long pass into the end-zone, the kind we have normally not been receiving, was received. With 22 seconds left in the game, we converted and led the game. Golden Bears 31, Huskies 30.

Seriously??? I mean, really??? 22 seconds later and we were the victors in the most amazing football game I had ever witnessed and likely will ever witness. Years of witnessing disappointment in the faces of the Bears’ players had conditioned me to the point that I forgot what can happen when God shows up. I do absolutely believe that there are no coincidences, no accidents, and that God called this game long before anyone else did.

I totally appreciate the faithfulness of the Bears over the past few years and in this game. Jerry and Jean-Marc are men that are exceptionally faithful leaders in my view. Though struggles abounded, and seemingly senseless losses occurred, I never noticed despondent behavior, but rather 110% effort on and off the field. And during this game in particular, I totally appreciate the team’s faithfulness as they were 110% engaged through the entire game, never giving up, but going for it.

I can make no claims on knowing what God’s will is or his purpose is in particular situations, but on this game day, I witnessed what happens when our will and God’s will aligns. There are no odds high enough that His will cannot overcome. He is a God that achieves mighty feats….against all odds.

Final Score: Golden Bears 31, Huskies 30, Kathy - 1 huge dose of faith.

Bat Pack Minus 1

2010-11-05T20:02:00.001-07:00

One day a little group of lady bats got together and decided to form a group - they called themselves "The Bat Pack", sort of like the Rat Pack for female bats. This little group met every Wednesday for a year. Sometimes, one of the bats would bring a bat friend. Every time they met, they encouraged one another, uplifted one another, sympathized with one another, empathized with one another, prayed with one another, and just generally enjoyed one another's bat (not bad) company. One day, a bat flew in from far, far away for a special long-term project. So, she joined the bat pack and everyone was pleased. She shared her life, her stories, her recipes, and her special warrior spirit. You see, she had fought many battles and has the scars to prove it. Her undefeated record and victorious spirit inspired the other bats in a way they had not anticipated, and their hearts were uniquely and wonderfully touched.

After about 10 months, the special project was done, so the new bat made plans to move on to her new long-term project far away. The new bat made a wonderful celebration dinner and the Bat Pack said their goodbyes with laughter, tears, sighs and prayers.

Two Wednesdays later, the Bat Pack still mourned the missing bat, but is looking forward to hearing more stories of battles engaged and won from far away in bat miles, yet still quite near in God's kingdom.

Leadership 101

2010-08-22T17:14:00.000-07:00

“Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lappidoth, was leadingIsrael at that time. She held court under the Palm of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of Ephraim, and the Israelites came to her to have their disputes decided. She sent for Barak son of Abinoam from Kedesh in Naphtali and said to him, "The LORD, the God of Israel, commands you: 'Go, take with you ten thousand men of Naphtali and Zebulun and lead the way to Mount Tabor. I will lure Sisera, the commander of Jabin's army, with his chariots and his troops to the Kishon River and give him into your hands.' “ Barak said to her, "If you go with me, I will go; but if you don't go with me, I won't go.” "Very well," Deborah said, "I will go with you. But because of the way you are going about this, the honor will not be yours, for the LORD will hand Sisera over to a woman." …“

Judges 4:4-9 (New International Version

Leadership 101

Uncle Mike died.

I just did not expect to hear that or read that so soon. Capt. Michael J. O’Brien (i.e., Uncle Mike) was larger than life to us. The oldest of five children, he was my mother’s oldest brother. The pecking order was Mike, Mom (Ann), Bobby, Kathleen (for whom I was named), and Steve. Perhaps being first born prepared him for leadership in other capacities throughout his life.

Actually, all of my mom’s brothers have been very successful in their lives and their careers. They have all had some extreme challenges, too. But Uncle Mike was our family’s “Kennedy”, if you will. He was a Viet Nam veteran and a leader in the United States Coast Guard, serving as Chief of Staff Enlisted Personnel and Liaison Office to the White House among other positions. Subsequently, he led numerous lucrative initiatives for the Grand Bahama Port Authority in the Bahamas. He retired with Honours from the United States Coast Guard and so will be buried at Arlington National Cemetery in October.

Visiting the O’Brien side of my family was a treasured experience for me as a child – the earliest memory I have of being around my uncles was actually while playing “Old Maid” with my grandmother (we called her “Nanny”). In hindsight it is obvious that they would signal to her what cards she should pick from my hand because I always lost that game, and I seem to remember finally catching them at it.

I’ve always been proud of my uncles. My mother held them in the highest esteem and I followed suit. I knew I had the best uncles a person could have. They represented strength, humour, goodness and honour to me. I felt their hearts were inclined to do the right thing in all circumstances. That was their objective.

My mother’s brothers are all very well educated, intelligent and politically astute – they are the type of people that can quickly and accurately assess situations and respond on their feet, though they waste no words generally speaking. I’ve always appreciated just sitting and talking with my uncles and getting their perspective on situations in my life or in the world at large.

One of the most memorable perspectives I received was in 1997. I was incredibly fortunate to be able to take my mother on a trip to Florida and the Bahamas for Uncle Mike’s second wedding. At that time, the news of the day included a big court case involving the Virginia Military Institute’s (VMI) policy disallowing women into their programs. I was eager to get Uncle Mike’s perspective on the situation simply because he was a leader in the military himself previously. When I asked him for his take on the issue, he paused for a moment, then looked at me and said, “You can either do the right thing, or have someone make you do the right thing – which would you prefer?”

It seems so simple when stated like that. He captured the whole case in one statement – clearly, the leader of VMI had a choice. Yet clearly, he had wrongly chosen to fight the issue and indeed, later that year, the institute was forced to accept women into their school. Imagine how much stronger a leader he would have been, though, if he had chosen to do the right thing himself instead of being corrected and forced to do so by a judge.

Life’s challenges and temptations seem to put me in the same position as that VMI leader every day. And I can either do the right thing, or face correction just as that military institution’s leader faced. This is my training ground right here, right now. How will I choose to live?

Lord, I thank you for the lesson available through the study of Deborah and Barak. And I thank you for all of my uncles, and in particular right now, my Uncle Mike. Thank you for allowing Mike a long life, a life well spent in loving others, encouraging others, defending others and leading others. I pray that you comfort his family and others who will keenly feel his absence from their lives, including me.

Rolling with the Punches and the Beet Leaves

2010-08-15T19:27:00.000-07:00

“Praise the Lord, I tell myself;
with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, I tell myself,
and never forget the good things he does for me.
He forgives all my sins
and heals all my diseases.
He ransoms me from death
and surrounds me with love and tender mercies.”
Psalm 103:1-4 New Living Translation

Rolling with the Punches and the Beet Leaves

Yesterday was a fantastic day. It started off with playing tennis with a great bunch of people – some from church, some from work, and some from I don’t know where! We have a great time every Saturday morning from 7 am – 9 am during the very short summer here in Edmonton, Alberta. Anyone is welcome to come play with us; we play at the outdoor tennis courts in the centre of St. Albert on Mission Avenue.

After tennis, I took off for the St. Albert Farmer’s Market. A beautiful day and a little less crowded market made for a happy shopper and I loaded up on my weekly sundries, such as yoghurt cheese & pita bread, salmon bruschetta, salmon to cook, kohlrabi, some tomatoes and some lemon honey. I saw delicious looking beets, too, but for reasons explained below, I did not purchase any. Though the prices are high this year, I am making a concerted effort to eat a bit healthier, so I indulged.

The best part of the day was yet to begin. My friend Oralee had invited me to her place to learn how to make a very special Ukrainian dish. Edmonton is like a mini-Ukraine – pierogies are a staple for every holiday meal and there are many places throughout the Edmonton area that offer pierogy dinners. The best place to go for a pierogy dinner here is in the northeast part of the city – I believe the name of the church is The Exaltation of the Holy Cross – at 153rd Avenue and 90th Street. $12 buys you an all-you-can-eat pierogy dinner that includes salad, fried codfish, sausage, pierogies (with unlimited caramelized onions, bacon and sour cream), and dessert. Delicious!

Oralee was going to teach me how to make beet rolls another Ukrainian specialty. Honestly, the first time I tasted Oralee’s beet rolls, I wanted to convert to Ukrainianism if at all possible. These are a most amazing delicacy.

Peter and Oralee Kozak live on an acreage in Gibbons, Alberta. I had never visited their place, but had visited mutual friends down the road – Craig and Jill Burns and Henry and Nellie Readner. So, I already knew how to get there. The drive is only about half an hour from St. Albert, and it was a gorgeous day, so I rolled down the windows, opened the sunroof, cranked the stereo and sang my heart out on the way there. Bet E. and Stef’s “Day by Day” was my greatest enjoyment as I drove east to Gibbons. One stanza in that song resonates with me: “Strength is not a stranger, I take it day by day.”

Strength is not a stranger to Peter and Oralee. They are in their late 70’s and have faced many of the same challenges we all face. Currently, Oralee is dealing with an ankle with bones that have kind of crumbled and a back that requires surgery. In the x-rays, her spine looks more like an “h” than an “l” or perhaps more like a bolt of lightening than a straight line. Further, it appears to have split a little as well, and so the nerves have been affected. One of her legs and one of her fingers just will all of a sudden stop working correctly for no apparent reason, and though very subtle, her speech is affected as well.

But Oralee is as full of life as ever and exhibited the sometimes lost art of hostessing when I arrived. We shared coffee and cookies and then were ready to get started on the beet rolls. Oralee graciously allowed me to help, but she was able to maneuver around her kitchen – their house is an old farmhouse that was actually moved physically out of the city to their acreage, and so the kitchen is quite small and actually perfect for Oralee currently because she doesn’t have to travel much to get to each spot!

As 1 cup of rice was boiling with 2 cups of water and some salt, she slowly sautéed probably ½ cup each of shredded onion and dill in about ½ cup of margarine for several minutes. When the rice was done, she mixed the sautéed concoction into the rice along with some pepper and set the pot on the table. She had prewashed a lot of beet leaves. We stacked up probably 50 to 60 in a bowl at a time and blanched them with boiling water, pretty much immediately dumping the water out (otherwise, the leaves rip too easily while rolling). We dumped the leaves on a plate and began the rolling process. In each beet leaf, we rolled 1 heaping teaspoon of the rice mixture, folding the beet leaf so no rice would escape, and put the rolls in aluminum bread loaf pans, piling them perhaps three layers deep. I wrapped those pans that would be frozen in plastic wrap, but in the pan we were to cook to accompany dinner, we poured cream and baked the rolls at 350F for one hour. When done, we put the little bundles of goodness on the table, to accompany lovely chicken, potatoes, carrots and a salad with cranberries and macadamia nuts. For dessert we had what their grandchildren affectionately refer to as “Raspberry Yum” – red and white raspberries covered in whipping cream with brown sugar on top and quickly broiled to caramelize the brown sugar. And, of course, dessert was accompanied by delicious tea.

Throughout the afternoon, Peter and son Willis piled up more beet leaves for us (we did a second batch), and in addition to the many loaf pans of beet leaves to freeze, I took home with me beets, potatoes, onions as well another heaping plate of the dinner we had cooked for another meal!

Well, we retired to the living room for a post-dinner chat and exchanged family stories. Peter and Oralee have been married 55 years. They have been a part of my church, North Pointe Community Church (formerly Central Tabernacle), since before they were married. It is wonderful to sit with those that know the history of our church, have served and continue to serve God faithfully there, and still have strong relationships with others throughout our congregation. They have experienced the storms in our church and weathered them all with God’s strength and perseverance. Peter sings in our choir and is a soloist for many of the holidays – he can do a pretty mean Elvis!

I discovered that Oralee’s maiden name is Brown and her roots are in England. We agreed that once I receive the genealogy books from my father, I would see if there is a connection, since my father’s side of the family has roots in England as well. Either way, I am connected to Oralee, as we are both a part of God’s family through Christ who gave up his life for both of us.

I tried to leave at a reasonable time, since rest and healing go together and I did not want to tire Oralee out, but I still probably overstayed my welcome. But you know how it is when you are visiting people who have great stories – it is hard to leave!

Once again, I opened my windows and sunroof on my drive home, though I kept the stereo quiet for a while. As I drove west, the sky was divided in appearance. As I looked to the left, the sky was a serene blue and lavender with some long narrow fuzzy white lines of clouds, and a crescent moon directly in my line of sight. But as I looked to the right, there was a monstrous cloud that filled up the horizon and was multicolored like a severe bruise, with what looked like a beard of rain falling from it, in addition to some smaller purple clouds with angry fire behind.

As I continued driving, I thought how none of us would choose to drive toward that storm – for sure, at the first opportunity, we would choose to turn to the left toward clear skies and serenity. But life is really like a drive between storms and serenity and sometimes, the storm comes to us anyways, in the form of challenging relationships, health issues, work problems, money issues, etc. But if we choose to spend our lives as Peter and Oralee have done, honouring God and his desires for us, then strength is not a stranger, and we can take things day by day, with the help, grace and mercy that only the Lord himself can provide.

Ah, Lord, I am filled with gratitude to you for your goodness to your children. Thank you, Lord, for a great Saturday at the end of this year’s summer in the prairies. Thank you, Lord, for faithful Christians, who have followed you throughout their interesting and challenging lives and who now inspire me to seek you with all my heart as well. Lord, I pray for those of us who are in a storm right now. I pray for Oralee and her health and for both Peter and Oralee as they cope with different roles even in their own household!

I pray, Lord, that while waiting for this storm to clear, that peace like a river attendeth their ways and sorrows like sea billows roll, for it is well with their souls.

2010-07-16T21:53:00.000-07:00

How do you spell Caucasian?

2010-04-10T10:57:00.000-07:00

“...And they will see the Son of Man arrive on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.” Matthew 24:30, New Living Translation

Dear God - “How do you spell ‘Caucasian’?”

So, I was nearly ready for work, and just applying the last bit of makeup this morning - you know, the various products that impart a false, but powerful notion that I am maintaining a youthful appearance against all odds. These particular habits and routines are somehow a comfort in a world that often does not feel secure. I have a new job, own a new car, am now a shareholder in my company, and am more in debt than ever, but getting up, reading, showering and applying makeup helps to make me feel “normal” on a daily basis.

Today, that routine was disturbed. At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang. My heart pounded loudly in my ears. Had something happened to my father? Dad is nearly 79 years old and suffers from a variety of ailments, including Parkinson’s disease. He lives in a seniors’ facility in Alabama - about 2,500 miles from Edmonton. As I rushed around trying to locate my suddenly hard to find cordless phone, I began thinking about and planning the arrangements I would have to make if I had to take a sudden trip.

Finally, I found the phone. It was Dad’s number calling me.

“Hello?” I said with some concern.

“Hi, Kath? What time is it there?” He did not sound too bad, but you can never tell.

“Six thirty, Dad.”

“Oh. Well, it’s 7:30 here - did I wake you up?” What in the world was this about, I wondered.

“No, Dad. I was just getting ready to leave for work.”

“Oh well, good. It’s about time.” This is Dad’s way of teasing. “So, how do you spell ‘Caucasian’?”

In a surreal fog of fury, humor and relief, I spelled it out for him two or three times.

“Okay, Kath, thanks. Have a good day at work.”

I hung up the phone and sat on the bed for a couple of minutes, letting my heart relax. Thoughts about another recent Dad incident came to mind. About a week ago, my sister Jackie sent an e-mail out to her siblings wanting to know if any of us were going to visit Dad in the near future. She was in the process of setting up a safety deposit box for him at the bank. One of my sisters replied right away that she was going to visit him at the end of March.

This left my mental radar until I was on the phone with Jackie on Saturday and asked her what that was all about. She said she had just found out Dad has tens of thousands of dollars worth of coins in his room. Another surreal moment. I asked her why he had that many coins, and she said he had told her it was a good investment. But she told him she did not like him having that money in his room. I agreed.

Sometimes, these issues and others, more serious and less serious, are frustrating given the distance we all are from my father. He refuses to move nearer to any of us, wanting to stay in the milder southern United States, rather than deal with the winters in Michigan, which is where both sisters live who have offered him a home. He stubbornly refuses to take his medicine. He drives a dented up large vehicle that he should not be driving - recently, he ran over the mailbox at the home he owns. He often skips meals to save money. He will not sell his home in Alabama, wanting his children to have it as a future vacation home, all the while not understanding that his children prefer a live father to an inanimate building in a place we have rarely visited.

It would be easy to let anger, impatience and frustration govern my feelings when talking with my father, and listening to these situations that seem pathetic and unnecessary. But I know that there will come a day when I will wish the phone would ring at a ridiculously early hour in the morning, and upon answering that call, I would hear something like:

“Kath, how do you spell ‘Caucasian’?”

* * * * *

Lord, I thank you for my father and all his quirks and foibles. I thank you for the grace you have extended him for nearly 79 years to date. Lord, I pray that in the mess of his daily life, as he suffers pain and confusion due to his various conditions, he turns to you for help. I pray that we sisters are able to help him in this world, but that he returns to thinking about you and his eternal life. Lord, there was a time when he believed and served you, and I pray he do so again. I pray he see the Son of Man on his return.

Valentines

2010-02-06T23:25:00.000-08:00

"Jesus told him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me. If you had known who I am then you would have known who my Father is. From now on you know him and have seen him.' "

John 14:6 - 7 - New Living Translation

Dear God - Valentines

A long time ago, there was a young man, who was quite a troubled young man - rebellious to say the least. He liked to party, joyride, etc. One day, he landed in jail after stealing gasoline from a local gas station. As he sat in his jail cell, he remembered an uncle that had a very dicy past, but who’s life had turned around after he came to know the Lord Jesus Christ. So, the young man, with his one call allowed, decided to call his uncle and ask him to come to the jail. It was on a February 14, Valentine’s Day, that the uncle came and sat with the young man and eventually prayed with him, asking Jesus to forgive his sins and come into his life.

Because that young man came to know Jesus at perhaps one of the lowest points in his life in a jail cell on that Valentine’s Day, many years later, I also came to accept Jesus into my heart and my life.

I’ve never been married, never had any children, and so there have been some Valentine’s Days that I have envied my friends experiencing romantic dinners and receiving flowers from their husbands, or cute little valentines made by their children. But whenever I get even a little bit down around this time of year, I remember that God’s greatest gift of all, His love through His son, Jesus Christ, can take your worst Valentine’s Day and turn it into the best day of your life!

Washington, D.C.!

2009-06-20T15:02:00.001-07:00

Wow! I can't believe I am so far away from Edmonton so quickly! I've had 2 great flights today, with hopefully 2 more great flights to go.

Funny thing happened in Minneapolis.....this man, probably 45ish who is an airline employee walked up to the gate at which I was waiting, and he looked so familiar to me. He walked up to me and said, "You look so familiar to me." We exchanged names, but have never met, I don't think. His name was Hebert Henry, or Henry Hebert...can't remember which now. Anyway, kind of funny.

Flying from Minneapolis to Washington was very interesting. We flew over Lake Michigan - wow, I don't think I ever realized the breadth of that lake. It looked like an ocean for a while!

I was sort of prepared, but not totally, for the landing at Washington's Reagan National Airport. The final banking move made me gasp and jump in my seat, which made the guy sitting next to me laugh. For a while, I was used to the landings here, but it has been a while, and it is a shocker when it happens!

I bought the Washington Post and look forward to absorbing it on the way to Atlanta. One of the front page stories today has an interesting headline: Primary-Care Doctor Shortage May Undermine Reform Efforts. What? I thought this is where all the trained up doctors in Canada are going? If they are short here and short in Canada, we are in some deep trouble!

Next stop, Atlanta..... never even stopped there before, so I am looking forward to it.

In The Beginning

2009-06-20T10:05:00.000-07:00

What a night! Last night, I saw the phenomenal Ruthie Foster in concert at the Jubilee....she was really phenomenal!! It is not a misnomer. The Blind Boys of Alabama were pretty awesome, too. All in all, it was a great night. As Randy, Arlene and I left the Jubilee, and stepped into the cool, fresh air of a beautiful Edmonton night, I felt the tug of this place afresh on my heart. Honestly, summer here is unbeatable. And it is finally summer!

Driving home with both windows rolled down, I marvelled in the moment and thanked God that He made such a beautiful night that I am already anticipating and longing for my return next week! Perhaps that has something to do with the 100 degree (37 - 38 C) weather I will no doubt be experiencing in Alabama in less than 16 hours. But perhaps it is just the way it is supposed to be.

Cliff and Harriett brought me to the airport today. We drove through quite a bit of scenic mist along the Anthony Henday along the way - beautiful. I learned that there is a lot (I mean a lot) of peat moss in the ground here - we could see where construction was taking place how far they have to go down here to get below the peat moss, and I caught myself thinking about the years spent with my foundation and geotechnical engineering friends in Washington, D.C. - one leg of this journey. Barbara - I hope you will be around next week - would love to get together and catch up.

After hugging C&H, I entered the airport with a sense of anticipation - what interesting things does God have arranged today? I checked in, getting through all the rigamarole that is designed to make us safe flying, but seems to take forever to get through. And then, as if on cue, I recognized two women as I went to sit down and wait for my flight.....the phenomenal Ruthie Foster and her bassist cousin!!! I had to tell her what a blessing she is to me - wish I had a camera!!! Honestly, could the day start in any better way???

Today, I am also thinking about NP's tennis tournament - looks like the weather will hold up -

Off to my next checkpoint - Minneapolis here I come!

Ciao for now, but not for long.

Child of Mine

2009-04-04T15:04:00.000-07:00

Oh child of mine
Come close to me
I'll give you hope
I'll set you free

Not just today
But evermore
Oh child of mine
Step through that door.

Too Busy To Wiggle My Tooth

2009-01-01T12:11:00.000-08:00

“… And let those who understand receive guidance by exploring the depth of meaning in these proverbs, parables, wise sayings, and riddles.” Proverbs 1:5-6 (New Living Translation)

Too Busy to Wiggle my Tooth

Another new year – wow! Last year seemed to go by at the speed of light. It is hard for me to believe that I have now lived in the Edmonton, Alberta, area for nearly 5 years. In a way, it seems I have always been here, and yet in a way, it seems like just yesterday that I fell in love with this most improbably lovable area of the world.

There is no place like the Edmonton area in December. Honestly, what a beautiful Christmas it always is here. Although there is not a lot of mixed vegetation here in general, we do have a large number of pine trees. Throughout this holiday season they have been heavily snow-capped, making for very lovely vistas at every turn. Gorgeous winter skies – muted sunrises and pastel sunsets – provide the perfect backdrop for these majestic Christmas trees that grace the area with their beauty.

I was quite excited about Christmas baking this year. My friend Rachel, in Florida, gave me a recipe for Cheese Crackers/ Biscuits Dusted with Powdered Sugar – something I figured no one would have tasted here since it is a southern recipe. So, I produced dozens of those while house-sitting at my friends, Brian & Sherry Wine’s home. Here is the recipe. Combine ½ cup butter with 1 cup of shredded medium cheddar cheese and 1 cup of flour. Form a log with the dough and refrigerate. As desired, cut ¼ or ½ inch slices and place on parchment paper lined baking sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for anywhere from 10 – 18 minutes depending on the width of the slices. The cheese should be a little browned when they come out of the oven. Once cooled, dust with powdered sugar. Yummy.

I spent Christmas Day with my friends Bob & Jocelyn and their family. We had a wonderful meal, great conversation, and played Apples to Apples – good time all the way around. Charles, Jen, Cory, Jean-Marc, and Angie are great to hang out with.

The following evening, I visited Dennis & Connie and their family. I met Dennis’ brother Brian, his wife Terry and son Nate. We also played Apples to Apples, which was just as much fun with 10 people, too! It was at some point during that game that Connie told me her granddaughter Breyar had a loose tooth and then asked Breyar if she was wiggling her tooth. Breyar replied, “I am too busy to wiggle my tooth!”

It is often out of the mouths of babes that unexpected wisdom flows, isn’t it? I thought of myself as a little girl and I remembered how when I had loose teeth, I was anxious to get them out so the tooth fairy would have the opportunity to come and deposit a gift under my pillow. Back in those days, it was probably no more than a quarter! I don’t think I was ever too busy to wiggle my tooth.

But now, things are quite a bit different than when I was a little girl. We are inundated with activities and external stimuli. I know I pack it in. We seem to think of sitting still as a sin. What is up with that? Sometimes I think we equate “working hard” to “being busy”. And the most commonly heard mantras or sayings these days are “I’m just so busy …” and “I’ve got so much to do…”

I’m not speaking of others here. This last year I was too busy to workout, to pray consistently, to go to bed early, to get up early enough to do my reading at the best time of the day, to develop some relationships, to submit paperwork on time, to send Christmas gifts in the least expensive manner instead of the most expensive manner, to eat right, to keep my home clean and in order, etc., etc., etc. What am I too busy doing to do these other vital things?

Lord, please help me to prioritize and perform my activities in a way that honors you and what you would desire for my life. Please give me the strength to avoid those activities that would detract or distract me from experiencing a great year in 2009. I pray for the strength and desire to accept the challenges that come my way for benefitting your kingdom. Please help me see that it is not always wise to be too busy to wiggle my tooth!

Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T06:41:00.000-08:00

Another Christmas Eve!

This year, I will spend Christmas Eve making homemade cheese crackers with icing sugar on top - a recipe I just got from a friend I haven't seen in about 30 years. I'm house-cat-gerbil-fish sitting, so I'll check up on them throughout the day, too! This evening, I'll play my flute at my church - North Pointe Community Church. Then a late dinner with friends.

Today I remember many years of driving from Washington, D.C., to Commercer Township, Michigan, to spend Christmas with my folks. My mother's birthday was December 23, so I usually tried to be there for that! This year, I did get a bit teary-eyed as the e-mail reminders that I set up for her birthday came in. But that's to be expected.

It was always with a great sense of anticipation that I traveled home. Christmas Eve would find our house with music on - a variety including Kathleen Battle (opera), Garrison Keillor (storytelling w/music), Nat King Cole, Burl Ives, James Galway, etc., etc. Mom would have cinnamon boiling on the stove and Dad would have a kettle of cinnamon or pot pourrie setting on the wood-burning stove as well. There would be walnuts, pecans and almonds to crack, along with a festive cheese ball and crackers. We usually had egg nog with some Bailey's Irish Cream (or non-brand version of same) as well.

Preparations for the following day's Christmas dinner would be made as well, with well laid out timelines and planning for the turkey cooking especially. My parents were often cooking stuffing in the middle of the night or the very early morning before everyone else got up for the day.

I remember Christmas Eve as generally a quiet, restful time spent in our home. Most years anyways.

So, today I'll spend a quiet, restful time where I am, making cheese crackers and listening to some great music!

Merry Christmas Eve.

November 20, 2008 - The Day of the Meteorite

2008-11-22T00:05:00.000-08:00

So, two days ago I experienced one of the most memorable birthdays of my life. In some good ways and some....well....not as good!

I went into work and got spoiled rotten - flowers, chocolates, well-wishes all day long. It was all going well, and then I talked with my sister. You see, I had received a YouTube a few days ago that was a short film of a guy turning the pages of the foreclosure listings for Wayne County, Michigan, in the Detroit Free Press. There were....are you sitting down, reader....136 pages of foreclosures. Unbelievable.

I asked my sister if that was true. And she said she thought so, yes. So, I asked her how she experienced this personally. And she told me her subdivision has a lot of empty houses with foreclosure signs in front of them. I asked them where these people now lived. She said many people are living in their cars or RVs. The police are very busy in Detroit, I am guessing.

What other ways is she experiencing the economic downturn? She said that restaurants are closing, the retailers are desperate, there are too many cars for the car lots - no place to store the excess, neighbors are getting laid off or hours and/or salaries cut. Food prices are soaring.

I hung up the phone with Jackie, and sat staring at the computer screen for a few moments.... and the tears came. A huge wave of sadness overwhelmed me right then. All these people thinking there would be no end to the good times for years....and now this. Who knows? It might have happened to me if I was there still. It is so easy to overextend. When everyone else is going to lunch, it is hard to say no, isn't it? When everyone else is planning trips to warmer climates, it is hard to say no, isn't it? For me, it isn't the warmer climates or the trip the matters, but I do feel a need to have shared experiences with people I enjoy. That does not justify the behavior any better, though, does it.

When I came to Edmonton, I felt more at home. It was not the mad rush that I experienced in the Detroit area. But over the past few years, it has sneaked in here, too. I recently spoke with a new friend of mine who is working with young adults, teaching them how to handle money, through a study that Dave Ramsey in the U.S. has put together. She has numerous examples of young adults who are not exercising good financial practices, either because they haven't been taught, or they haven't learned. But there are so many people here now who are overextended. And the pressure continues....

A friend of mine, who is a single mom struggling to make it on a receptionist's salary, has a 9 year old son who would like an IPod for Christmas. They are priced at about $400. There are people who actually think she should get him the IPod, when it should be seen as "living beyond your means." Period. End of discussion. When did it become sad if you can't have an IPod??? Man, we are really, really poisoned.

Anyway, back to the birthday experience.....

I was feeling quite....well....out of sorts, a bit apprehensive, sad even, as I took off to meet friends at the movie theatre to see "Madagascar". I was nearly there, sitting at a red light at St. Albert Trail and 137 Avenue, when suddenly it was daylight for 2 or 3 seconds...and as I looked up there was a ball of fire that appeared to go up and then down. I would have guessed that the ball of fire fizzled out and dropped within a quarter mile. I thought, "What was that? Must have been an explosion of some sort." But I couldn't make sense of it. I thought further, "What in the world is going on today?" Then I started thinking bigger. What if that was a chemical explosion or nuclear? I wondered how long it would be before the poisoned gas would reach me if so. And bigger yet... I wondered if all of a sudden one day, darkness will turn into daylight, and the Lord will be before me. Will it be like that? Will I be sitting at a stop light and all of a sudden, daylight all around? Was I ready?

Ahhhhh....am I ready for that today?

Anyway, I was really quite disconcerted as I went into the movie theatre moments later, hoping I would hear later it was some firework or some minor explosion. Connie was there and it was good just to see a friend at this point. A group of us watched Madagascar - it was a relief to watch good clean comic fun.

This is my second most memorable birthday in my life. The day the meteorite streaked across the prairie skies, turning darkness into daylight along the way.

Of all the videos of the meteorite videos out there, this is the one that is like what I saw:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSL3b6bCR7s

Remembering

2008-11-11T07:48:00.000-08:00

"Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Matthew 20:25 - 28 (NIV)

There are many scriptures that talk about the value of sacrifice, the laying down of our lives for another or others. Today is our day to remember those in our families, cities, counties, states, countries, who have laid down their lives for us.

This is one thing that has always fascinated me about men in particular. I mean really. Just as I sit here drinking coffee and writing this little blurb.....years ago, men in my family and others woke up, drank coffee, and heard or read something that caused them to say "sign me up" to serve.

Today I'll remember those I know of in my family:

My father, Douglas Brown, enlisted in the Air Force when he was 17 or 18. He was stationed in England in the late 40's/early 50's, but was never involved in armed conflict.

My uncle, Mike O'Brien, was a career Coast Guard Officer.

My uncle Steve O'Brien served in the U.S. Army in Vietnam and upon returning, served in the Reserves.

My brother, Dale Brown, enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps and served for 3 years.

My cousin Erin's husband, Brent Orr, is a full time captain in the North Carolina Army National Guard and an Apache helicopter pilot, and has served in Afghanistan and Iraq.

The ability to step up, serve, risk and possibly give one's life for a greater good, so that others might live, certainly portrays a picture that Christ himself painted for the disciples. The vast majority of those who have served and do serve in our armed forces do not hold positions of great authority or power, but nevertheless have served with their lives, in an "everyday" kind of way, so that the rest of us may live with the many freedoms we enjoy today.

Thank you.

An Early Winter Night's Joy

2008-11-08T22:38:00.000-08:00

Surprised. I was quite surprised.

I had seen a ballet earlier this year - "Mozart's Requiem", and it was quite good, but a bit heavy and dark. Prior to that, my last ballet was "Swan Lake" performed at the Kennedy Center with Rudolph Nureyev as the lead male dancer, perhaps 30 years ago. I don't remember much of the performance, except for being absolutely amazed watching the swans dance their beautifully synchronized dance.

So, as I headed off to "A Midsummer Night's Dream" a couple of days ago, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. With my limited experience, I expected a serious, somewhat dark ballet. As I said above, I was quite surprised.

First of all, the set was beautiful. Not too complicated, so very sophisticated. The opening seemed as if it was occurring in a dream, and we understood why that was when a filmy filter curtain lifted during or after the opening dance. Brilliant.

Mendellsohn's music was light and fun. The choreography was....well, astute, I think. In other words, I think that the story was told so well, and the humor conveyed so aptly, that even the viewer who least likes ballet would be entertained!! The dancers danced in a beautifully winsome fashion - to my untrained eye, they were flawless. The children's performance was top-notch, and the Pro Coro Choir was phenomenal. As I heard the beautiful music drift up from the orchestra pit, I envied the musicians in the Edmonton Symphony.

As the potion put a spell on the lovers in this story, so this performance enchanted me. I could not have asked for a warmer experience on this early winter night!

Thank you, Alberta Ballet.

2008-09-22T19:24:00.000-07:00

Hi, y'all --

That's right, I said y'all - please forgive my recently acquired suthun (southern) accent - I just returned from the Land of Love Bugs. Yes, indeed. Fairhope, Alabama is inundated with these bugs that I found myself swatting around until my sister said, "Kathy, just leave them alone, they are harmless. They are called Love Bugs." Sure enough, these bugs mate constantly. So, you never see these bugs alone....always two together as they fly around! Interesting....

Not to bother you with rambling, (clue - next part is rambling - to skip the rambling, scroll immediately to the bottom of this e-mail!), but it was quite interesting to go as far as Fairhope, Alabama - never been there before. It is on the Gulf of Mexico, and so gets some hurricane activity usually during the year, although Fairhope was "lucky" in that Ike chose Galveston, TX, instead this time around. Fairhope was established in an attempt to create a Utopian environment, especially economically, with very low tax rates, and one utility payment per household (made to the City of Fairhope). The City boasts a highly educated community - the Unitarian minister there, Celeste, said that in their small congregation, there are 7 published authors and the average education is a Master's Degree. With my father there, we expressed surprise that they would allow him to bring the average down.... (that is a joke and he got it!). :) The upshot is that you can have a whole lot of knowledge and yet without a greater purpose, your knowledge leads you nowhere. I actually did think about the Truth Project and my enthusiasm for it, and asked God to temper my desire for more and more knowledge. As Pastor Bob expressed today, "graceless truth repels people from Christianity."

One thing I had completely forgotten about until this trip was the art of socialization in the south, and how the ladies of the south epitomize the art of hospitality. It truly seemed an art form to me this time around, and actually, I am a little envious of it. I feel like a bull in a china shop in comparison with my "let's bottom-line it" approach to things! Thank God for His creating us all uniquely and with different gifts.

The opening to the show of my mother's artwork was pretty small, though she really got a good writeup in the local paper. The church did wonderful little hors d'oevres for the reception, probably the most unique of which was mini-reubens. Quite good. As I said the hospitality was wonderful, and many of the ladies stopped to chat about the artwork. Their dresses, hats, sunglasses, and manners were welcome. Quite charming in a rather sophisticated way actually.

On Saturday as we were driving home from the coffee shop, I noticed a sign for a Christian Church down a pretty road, so I determined to go there on Sunday.

I got up on Sunday, and was putzing around the kitchen, and noticed "The Hallelujah Diet" book was on the island....I asked my sister Karen if that was hers and she said it was. I thought that was interesting and she said, "You know, Kathy, the Bible says you should be a vegetarian." I just grinned and said I wasn't too sure about that but I'd be interested in hearing what scriptures she thought indicated that. I did tell her I was reading Daniel, told she and her husband about Daniel, and how vegetarianism benefitted Daniel and his 3 cohorts for sure.

So, I took off for church. At least 2 ladies greeted me as I sat waiting for the service to start. This was a small, traditional church, and I was getting some attention as I observed out of the corners of my eyes. Amusing. They provide attendance numbers on their handout, and the week prior there were 89 in attendance. I would guess there were maybe 50 on this particular Sunday. What was funny to me, though, was the scripture that the Pastor had chosen to talk about - Romans 14:1-12. I won't make you look it up:

1Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. 2One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. 4Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

5One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. 8If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

9For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. 10You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. 11It is written:
" 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord,
'every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will confess to God.' "^[a] 12So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.

13Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. 14As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food^[b] is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean.

Given the conversation with Karen that morning, I found the fact that this scripture was chosen very, very funny. And you better believe I shared that with her when I got home! She didn't look all that impressed, although I do think she considered it seriously when I pointed out the Bible is a pretty big book and the odds of the church I visited to pick a scripture entirely relevant to our discussion (vegetarianism vs. meat-eating) slim to none. I will say it would be far easier to be a vegetarian in Fairhope where vegetables and fruits are very, very flavourful, and far less expensive. :)

But their purpose at that church was not so funny. They have been trying to select a senior pastor and have not been able to come to agreement. I won't bore you with the rest of the details, but I do like their signature mission: "In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, love." The sermon certainly admonished me in some ways.

Ghosts

2008-09-13T20:36:00.000-07:00

Sober up, you drunks!

Get in touch with reality—and weep!
Your supply of booze is cut off.
You're on the wagon, like it or not.
My country's being invaded
by an army invincible, past numbering,
Teeth like those of a lion,
fangs like those of a tiger.
It has ruined my vineyards,
stripped my orchards,
And clear-cut the country.
The landscape's a moonscape.
Joel 1:5-7 The Message

Ghosts

What a beautiful day here in Fairhope, Alabama. My sister Karen, her husband Kurt, and I went down to the shores of the ocean today. Fairhope is very hot and humid right now, and the vegetation is quite lush, though the flowers have lost much of their intense lustre. We saw herons, cranes, geese, ducks and seagulls as we meandered along the shoreline. That is what y'all do in the south, hear, you meander or stroll by the seashore.

We walked on the sparsely populated beach - this is not "the" beach to be seen at since it is quite a narrow beach, but rather one just used for walking and enjoying the scenery. We chose to walk the large pier into Mobile Bay. As we walked the pier, the wind kicked up and I thanked God for the breeze that was such a relief. Men were fishing - mostly throwing out fishing nets all along the pier, and I asked one what fish he had in his net and he said "mullet". I thanked him, and he said, "Yes ma'am." The charming drawl sounded like music to my ears.

We continued on and came to a restaurant selling fried fish. Posted on one of the windows, there was an advertisement for some sailboat for sale for $150,000. Just beyond the restaurant, I heard it. It was a very creepy sound. A low moaning, groaning sound in the wind. Actually, the sound was coming from the wind whistling through the masts of several boats docked at the pier. It was a sound that will repeat itself more frequently as the economy continues to slide. Ghosts.

Lord, I pray for our country tonight. I pray for an awareness of how far away we are from real community, real purpose, real meaning. I pray for a spirit of repentance to enter the hearts of these people. That before it is too late, we are shaken out of the sleeping, drunken state to which we have adhered to for years already.

Journey to Fairhope - Leg 1

2008-09-12T11:07:00.000-07:00

Hi! I am sitting in the Minneapolis Airport right now knowing you are already pining for my presence. LOL. I am very tired, but excited, after a very short night spent on my friend Evy’s couch! I was up at 4:15 am and I’m glad I got to the airport early, because I was able to snag emergency exit row seats for the next two legs of my flight….

I have already had a very interesting day….

The shuttle from the Westin downtown was full, but it drags a taxicab along with it, so I hopped in that with some ladies who were leaving a conference for Women’s Shelters that was held in Edmonton. I met a lady from Charleston, SC and another from San Franciso, CA. The taxi driver was from an African nation, and was not very perceptive……he asked the ladies if they learned how to “squeeze men more” at their conference. How embarrassing from an Edmontonian perspective. We picked up a young and obviously drinking young man as well, and then drive to the airport included hitting a curb, and some farting, and some other wonderful experiences. The lady from San Francisco, though, was a little pistol – she made the driver turn down the radio and garnered his respect shortly after his faux pas. At the airport, she said to me, “That was worse than some third world experiences….”. Think about that – a woman who runs a battered women’s shelter in San Francisco was saying how bad our experience was. Perspective. Mayor Mandel, clean it up if you want to be a world class city.

I arrived ½ hour before I could even check in at the airport! So, I chatted with a guy from Tyco, which was really interesting because a firm I worked for in Washington, D.C., (Dames & Moore) had a business relationship with Tyco (which was then EarthTech). That guy was a techie guru, and looked up several spots for me to visit in Fairhope from the Blackberry he was carrying. Very nice guy from Baton Rouge – beautiful accent.

I met another couple who was flying Northwest from Edmonton, to Minneapolis, to Toronto, because it was cheaper than flying Canadian airlines!!! Go figure.

And finally, this little old lady in a wheelchair and her attendant who were flying to New York to take a cruise. The lady was 87 years old, I believe, and planning on living a lot longer so she could take more trips!!! They had trouble with their travel agent, so I gave them my travel agent’s name…..always good to drum up more business for your travel agent. J

I have to say that when I arrived here in Minneapolis, I felt a little heart tug of home….more in terms of cleanliness of the facilities than anything else. I LOVE toilet seat covers!!! Really, I do!

But the perspective is way off – the mall here at the airport has hired a harpist to play in one of the aisles…..a piano playing some lovely classical music is playing on its own in another…..I feel like I have traveled to a land in the height of decadence in that regard. Interesting, for sure.

So, I may very well get bored in Memphis, too, and may e-mail you from there! Who knows what can happen….hopefully, I haven’t bored you with my e-mail!

See you soon!

Golden Bears

2008-08-31T20:22:00.000-07:00

It is going to be a fun football season for me. I went to the opening Golden Bears game yesterday, and though the start was a bit shaky, the Golden Bears found their form I think. I'm no football expert, but I think their quarterback threw confident and sharp passes. He found the ones who were open and nailed the passes quite a bit better than last year. And in layman's terms, I thought his offensive line protected him well - quite well - and in addition, the receivers were fast off the mark. I was totally impressed.

My friend Jean-Marc plays defense for the Bears and he did a great job yesterday. I particularly remember 3 tackles that were awesome. Whoever #45 was did an awesome job as did #44. I thought the defense looked very strong.

I think that if the Golden Bears play like they did in Quarters 2, 3 and 4, for the rest of this year, they will be tough to beat. I am so excited to be able to be here for this year of great football!

Prayer

2008-08-20T23:52:00.000-07:00

Oh Lord, my heart cries out tonight
To join a mother in her fight

A child of yours, a friend of mine
Needs, my Lord, your touch divine

For cancer wracks her body, Lord,
And pain so fierce – that’s cancer’s sword

I pray You take her pain away
And begin the healing yet today

Please strengthen her for what’s to come
For she is one of Your kingdom

Here on this earth and up above
We trust Tina to the One we love

Our God so great, who gives us hope
Whose very words help us to cope

With circumstances beyond compare
We read and dwell on Jesus’ prayer

“…Father, if thou be willing,
Remove this cup from me.

Nevertheless not my will,
But thine, be done...” prayed He.

How does your garden grow?

2008-07-26T11:00:00.000-07:00

Well, it was a great day yesterday. I cleaned and I cooked. I found a great recipe for banana bread that uses brown sugar (most use white sugar, but I had bought a bunch of brown sugar so I wanted to use it).

So, I had invited my friend Evy over for dinner and to sit out on the lovely deck here. The banana bread was done just as she arrived. And then I began cooking salmon (simply with lemon and a mixture of Paul Prudhomme's Seafood Magic and Blackened Redfish Magic spices), some rice pilaf from a box (good stuff, though), and brussell sprouts. It was all quite yummy for the tummy and pretty healthy, too.

I started making some Chai Latte to have with our banana bread, and Evy proceeded to attempt to rescue the flowers I have nearly killed here. I am just not very good with gardening. I've always disliked gardening, probably because of the slugs, worms and bugs it requires dealing with, and so I have not developed a "touch" for it. About 1/2 hour later, after 7 or so jugs of water were disbursed among the flowers, we sat down with our tea and banana bread and then went out on the deck.

Such beauty. Honestly, it is quite beautiful here at the Wine's home. We were chit chatting on the deck when I happened to glance toward the vegetable garden. "What is that in the garden?" I pondered. Evy looked, too. I thought maybe it was a dead animal or something in the zucchini patch. Then it hit me - it was a HUGE zucchini. I went down there, and sure enough, it was a biggie. Evy came and picked it - I weighed it this morning and it is a 6-pound zucchini! Wow!

So, I'm going to be busy this weekend making chocolate chip zucchini loaves. Anyone have a good recipe??

Golf

2008-07-24T22:45:00.001-07:00

I played Golf today for the first time in years. I really like this pic of our 4-person golf team. From left to right - Frank, me, Michelle and Thuy. Frank and Thuy were mercy players today and are incredible golfers! Thanks to them, and a Texas Scramble format, we were able to make 18 holes today.....otherwise, I would have needed a nap and some aspirin at the 9-hole mark!

A great time was had by all, and we raised funds for the Village of Hope in Zimbabwe.

Galilee

2008-06-07T00:06:00.000-07:00

Oh Lord, we’ll see
If you’ll meet me
On the pristine shores of the Galilee

As one of Three
You walked the sea
‘Twas there you found your ministry

Above that sea
By an olive tree?
You taught of true humility

Your guarantee
Has set me free
You are my hope and heaven’s key

Oh Lord, my plea
Is you’ll meet me
On the pristine shores of the Galilee

And there will be a jubilee

Jimi Varner's Blog

2008-05-26T16:39:00.000-07:00

Jimi Varner's Blog

Good Morning

2008-05-18T06:58:00.000-07:00

I did not think I would wake up as early as I did this morning, but in the past days, I've started opening my window shade in the bedroom before I go to sleep. The result is I wake up nearly as early as the sun. Today it is well worth it.

As I sit here at my computer, before the rest of the world wakes up, I am enjoying the cool fresh air created by an early morning rain. My skin welcomes the humidity. My ears welcome the sound of a few different songbirds and a sound that brings back memories of younger days. If I am not mistaken, it is the sound of cicadas.

And as I sit here, sipping my cup of steaming hot coffee and watching the grass turn green before my very eyes, I think perhaps this is nature's morning worship service for its creator.

Perhaps they feel as I have lately.

O God, you are my God;
I earnestly search for you.
My soul thirsts for you;
my whole body longs for you
in this parched and weary land
where there is no water.
Psalm 63:1

The Dying Season

2008-03-02T21:44:00.000-08:00

It's the dying season.

This time of year seems to me to be about the toughest for those who are wavering in terms of health. Pneumonia is more common, the flu rages rampant among us, the sniffles, sneezes, coughs, etc., create a cacophany of sound that is barely even heard since it is constant. It becomes like white noise in the background almost. Many friends go on antibiotics, houses become quarantined, visiting is perhaps at a low as we wait for various bugs to remove themselves from our environments.

Last year, my Aunt Ellie (one of my father's sisters), 69 years old, died right around this time of a massive stroke, and my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. Mom passed away in April. About a week ago, my Aunt Joyce (my father's oldest sister) passed away from pneumonia at the age of 78 years. I went to a funeral yesterday of a 92 year old woman named Sybil Bunting.

It's the dying season.

Sybil had a wonderfully attended celebration and the speakers and tributes and music were all wonderful to me. Walking in, I was pretty confident that I would not cry. As soon as I began looking at pictures, though, I got teary-eyed. And after the very first tribute, the tears poured out. I felt ridiculous, like I looked like a fool. Hardly anyone there even knew me, and I was using up tissue already. But, it touches my heart when I hear about the impact someone has made on another's life. We go through our days, touching hearts, touching lives, touching people, and yet, I don't think we always have a sense of our own impact. And with the love of Jesus Christ in us, we can have an impact beyond our own comprehension even. Sybil had that love of Jesus Christ. I met her only once, but I knew I would never forget her or her husband Ken.

My Aunt Joyce is not having a celebration or memorial or funeral until sometime in the Spring. I'm not positive where my aunt stood with the Lord, but I pray she was right with Him upon passing away. Joyce made some very tough choices in her early years, and it often seemed like her consequences were never finished. I think she was married possibly 3 times, and I don't believe she was ever treated as a woman should be treated. She lead a very hard life at times. She worked pretty much full-time up until this last year, with the past decade of work being done in a shelter or home or agency to help battered women. I am sure she touched many women's lives in a very positive way and I thank God for her presence in my life.

As each of these impactful women leave my physical world, I reflect on this season of dying and hope and pray that my life is impacting someone in as positive a way as these wonderful women of a past generation.

Close to the Sun

2008-02-09T22:20:00.000-08:00

It was a beautiful, but quite cold day. It was about -24F when I went to start my car, according to one of my online weather sources. That is simply cold.

I was tempted not to go out today at all. But I had made arrangements with a young lady, Michelle, who has graciously married my friend Adam, to get together and run some errands and have lunch. So, I dressed warmly: flannel pajama bottoms under my jeans, then a turtleneck shirt, a turtleneck sweater over that, two pairs of socks, a jacket, scarf, gloves and light boots. Once I managed to get all of that on, I went out and started the car. It took 3 tries, but I finally got it started. I let it warm up for 15 minutes, and then began my journey from St. Albert into Edmonton at about 10:45 a.m.

I decided I needed a Timmy's coffee with double cream, so I stopped at the one on Hebert Road in St. Albert. But there were probably 10 cars in the drive-through lineup and seemingly dozens of people in line inside. I returned to my car without a coffee and proceeded down "the Trail". Two or three miles south of Hebert, there is another Timmy's, and no lineup, so I got my coffee after all and continued on my trip to pick up Michelle.

About half an hour later, Michelle and I made our way to "Best Buds" flower shop in Oliver Square at 116 Street and 104 Avenue. My friend Kim owns the store, and some of my other friends (Lillian and Laura were there today) help her out. Kim was supposed to get 4,000 roses today and she had quite a bit of help in to de-thorn the roses and make bouquets. My idea was that Michelle and I could learn a few tricks for an hour or two. But Kim had lots of help and so we chatted for a few minutes, then left to go to lunch at Red Robins. A Whiskey Burger and a few fries warmed us up for the rest of our travels.

Michelle is a very interesting young lady as she is Australian and the first Australian I've known. So, as we lunched, then shopped at Walmart and Superstore, we compared notes about what it is like to move away from your native country, as well as all the different products and groceries we miss! At about 4:30, I dropped her off at Totem, where her hubby works, and made my way home.

It was a beautiful evening with lovely pastel wintry sky. It was slightly darkening as I drove home, but still in the sky was the beautiful pale yellow sun. And against one edge of the sun there was a cloud that looked almost like another sun as it reflected the same intense yellow light as the sun, and across the sky, the cloud trailed a long line of "cloud" that twisted and turned for some distance. As my eyes followed the trail, it struck me that the further away from the sun, the paler the color of the cloud. So, the long trail of cloud seemed bright yellow just like the sun where it was close, but at the tail end was practically white.

I guess the closer we are to the Son, the more we appear to be like Him.

Wrong Way?

2008-02-07T21:45:00.000-08:00

It was just a couple of weeks ago when it happened for the first time.

I'd been riding the St. Albert commuter buses to my place of employment in Edmonton - NorQuest College - since June of last year. So, at that point, it had been about 8 months of commuter busing. And the route never really varied. The route numbers did, but not the route. So, every morning, I walk 1.5 blocks from my apartment to the bus stop, hop on a bus that takes me to St. Albert Centre. I transfer to another bus that takes me all the way to within one block of NorQuest. On the way home, it is simply the reverse of that.

Well, a couple of weeks ago, I did my transfer at St. Albert Centre on the way home, but as the bus pulled out of the station, it went a completely different route. It had been a long and tiring day, and to think I had hopped on the wrong bus really brought me down. I mentioned to a lady sitting near me that I must have gotten on the wrong bus. She said, "No, this is the way they are supposed to go." I was totally confused and did not get it at all. I questioned her, and finally she said, "You're on the right bus. The bus is supposed to go exit the station this way -- even though they never do!"

Wow. You can go the wrong way without even knowing it for a very long time. Lucky for me, there was someone to explain it to me.

It reminds me of the 40 or so years of my life spent walking down the wrong road -- resisting God and denying Jesus as my Savior. Lucky for me, there was someone to explain that to me as well.

Thank you!

Bitterly Cold on Sunday

2008-01-27T22:36:00.000-08:00

Bitterly cold on Sunday.

I was bitter all the way to church about "having" to go to church in this nightmarish weather. I mentally told off a few people who did not appear to have gone through the same driver's training I did in terms of how to drive on ice as I traveled. Driving in this stuff really pretty much brings me to tears. And I was bitter when I got there as I watched wives getting dropped off at the door by their husbands. "Figures!" is what I say to myself in these situations and what I said to myself today. So I was in a fine snit as I walked through the door and one of my friends, Evy (76 years old) greeted me. She said, "So, are you having a good day??" I half thought she was being funny-cheery at the undoubtedly sour expression on my face. So, to be funny-crabby back, I barely grunted her a reply, something like "uh huh....", as I made a beeline for the coffee bar. Luckily, Chuck was there - he makes the best Chai Lattes of anyone in the church currently, so I ordered one, and it was perhaps the best one I have ever had.

Worship began, and frankly, it was one of the best worship services I have experienced in a while. Honestly, the songs were melodic, the range was perfect, and it was a bane to my soul today. I was immediately grateful for that. In retrospect, I wonder how much like Saul I might be given the amount of comfort I received from the worship offering today. I'm sure Cindy will be grateful to be thought of like David instead!!! :)

The service that followed spoke to us of our not really being able to fully understand God. I'm paraphrasing here, but that we can understand some, but not all of God and not all of what he is about. It was excellent. And we had a testimony from one of my recently made friends who is about 55 years old and has never been sick. He was just diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer in the liver and bowel and been given 9 months to 2 years to live. He is in my bible study, and I would not have missed this for the world. It was hard for him to do it, but gratifying to hear his heart on the platform.

Then I hung out with the young adult girls -- say 21 - 31 year olds. Had a great conversation, and they invited me to lunch. Women like these young ladies are so inspiring to me. I wish I had been half as lovely, inside and out, at their respective ages. I am very appreciative of even getting to spend a little time with them.

So, I went to lunch, had a fabulous time, then came home. But there was still bible study to go to. So, I began to get bitter again about going out. Do you think that by this stage of my life and with evidence received just earlier today, that I could have predicted the outcome enough to be cheery????? Well, I still have things to work on!!!

Ask Her What She Thinks

2008-01-25T21:17:00.000-08:00

Sometimes encouragement from the bible comes in unexpected ways, and this time it was very unexpected in Genesis 24. My church, North Pointe, is reading the bible through in a year chronologically. So we read a few chapters in Genesis, we read Job, and now we are back in Genesis, reading things through as they occurred long, long ago.

Well, as you may know, the church doesn't always have a good reputation in its treatment of women. This is historically as well as currently true. I won't comment here about the rightness or wrongness of how the church has perceived, portrayed and treated women. But I will talk a little bit about how women have been perceived, portrayed and treated by the church in my very, very limited experience - most of that experience is as a non-Christian.

My own belief, and the belief of those non-Christians who influenced me, was that the church is not kind nor fair towards women. My first memories of actually experiencing/seeing this were of an uncle of mine. He accepted Jesus Christ as his Saviour when he was a young adult and was run over by his own tractor. That was before I was born and he and my aunt (devoutly Catholic from a very young age) became Christians and joined the Baptist church.

As a child, I was fascinated by uncle's ability to speak very fast Pig Latin. But I felt uncomfortable with how he spoke to my aunt. It seemed to me he thought of her as a possession and would sometimes refer to her as if her desires, her needs, her feelings were of little or no consequence. Sometimes the things he said and the jokes he made did not seem funny to me at all. My aunt's sisters and brothers never had much regard for my uncle and often spoke of his being "a very difficult man".

Nevertheless, my aunt and uncles had three beautiful children of their own and adopted a beautiful child they had fostered for years. As my uncle got older, he seemed to mellow quite a bit and in hindsight perhaps much of his manner towards women was more common in that generation. Regardless, though, I think he might be mortified to think that these things I heard and observed caused me to form a very negative view of the church, the Bible, and people who referred to themselves as Christians.

This world view of the church that I developed as a child was further reinforced when I went to his daughter's wedding in my early 20's. The ceremony was downright offensive to women in my view. I don't remember details, I simply remember that the "submitting" seemed to be very one-sided.

When I became a Christian, I went to church and had the most amazing experience of overhearing a young man thanking an older man for something, and just thinking about their conversation now brings tears to my eyes. I had not realized that men could be so loving in their conversation or in their hearts. I was incredibly moved and am still whenever I meet a man who is not wussy, but instead manly yet meek. Do you know what I mean?

Anyway, I began reading the bible, and I prepared myself to become like my aunt. I knew I was a Christian, and they were the only Christian examples I knew of in my life, so I thought this would have to be. And indeed, the Old Testament is filled with horrific stories of how women were treated and rules that came from God that just did not seem at all fair or with favour towards women. Honestly, coming to grips with some of the stuff I read was pretty tough.

The New Testament did not seemed at best to marginally improve things much at first reading. Popping out at me were Paul's instructions to the new church about women remaining silent and not holding any position such as elder or deacon, and certainly not a teacher of men (forgive me and correct me if my paraphrasing here is incorrect). Women still seemed to be held in low regard all the way around. And frankly, you may find that many Christian churches follow many of these instructions to this day.

So, I was born again, but born into "the church" that did not yet seem female friendly to me. Certainly my world view of the church at the time played into that.

It is now 4.5 years later, and my church is reading through the Bible in a year chronologically. Each time I start at the beginning of the Old Testament, I mentally sigh at the thought of reading yet again of many ways in which women were not treated well.

But this time, I got a little treat in Genesis 24. The setting is this. Abraham sent one of his servant's to find a wife for his son Isaac. The Lord, through the servant, selects Rebekah by a series of conditions she meets by giving water to the servant and water to his camels at a well near Abraham's brother's home. The servant is invited into Rebekah's parents' home, and he tells the family of his mission to find a wife for Isaac, and how clear it was that the Lord had chosen Rebekah. The family acknowledged that the Lord had sent him and so gave Rebekah to Isaac. The next morning, however, the servant wanted to take off right away to get Isaac's bride back to him. But when he requested to be sent back, Rebekah's family protested, and the following conversation occurred:

"Then they had supper, and the servant and the men with him stayed there overnight. But early the next morning, he said, 'Send me back to my master.' 'But we want Rebekah to stay at least ten days,' her brother and mother said. 'Then she can go.' But he said, 'Don't hinder my return. The Lord has made my mission successful, and I want to report back to my master.' 'Well,' they said, 'we'll call Rebekah and ask her what she thinks.' So they called Rebekah. 'Are you willing to go with this man?' they asked her.
Genesis 24:54-57

Well, I have to tell you that I find it very encouraging to have finally "seen" this passage. In this day and age there are still many who don't care to ask what women think. I am not sure, however, that God endorses that. I look forward to a year of discovery in the Bible once again.

Ask Her What She Thinks

2008-01-23T21:00:00.000-08:00

Authority

2008-01-17T23:43:00.000-08:00

I think I have a problem with authority. Oh, I don't have a problem with authority when the authority agrees with my way of thinking, but I have a big problem when I disagree with their way of thinking. And I think that simply boils down to a problem with authority.

When people in positions of authority or power or control or influence - whatever you want to call it - do things that are not right (i.e., misrepresenting the truth, white lies to achieve an outcome, chauvinism, etc.), every fiber of my being begins to resist that authority. Problem is, we are all flawed (me, you, and whoever is the authority), and so alot of those with authority do wrong things either from time to time or habitually. Time to time is one thing, but if it is habitual, well, let's just say for me to even be around that person feels like hearing nails on a chalk board.

So, I find reading Genesis 16 very interesting. Abram's wife, Sarai, has her servant sleep with Abram to bear him a child that Sarai was sure she never would. Once the servant, Hagar, became pregnant, she treated Sarai with contempt and Sarai's response to that was to treat Hagar harshly. So, Hagar ran away.

Looking at the circumstances here, I'm thinking it is better for Hagar to be gone from the situation, and better in general for these women to be apart. But the Lord often does things differently than I would expect. He told Hagar to go back and submit to Sarai's authority.

Interesting, eh? I bet He tells me that, too, when I am bucking authority. Hmmm......

Prosperity

2008-01-15T22:21:00.000-08:00

So, I have some questions about this topic. Today we finished reading Job. At the end of the book of Job, ..."The Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning....." In context, God allowed Satan to test Job for a bit. And Satan certainly did a pretty good job -- took Job's possessions, family, health, and frankly, even his closest friends. Job withstood the test fairly well, and humbled himself when he realized he had not tested so well. And so, the Lord blessed Job even more -- more possessions, more family, better health, etc.

And so I wonder how many of us expect this outcome? And when I say this outcome, please note that I mean the outcome of further blessings in this lifetime, on this earth. And I also wonder if we should expect it? And from that, I wonder what assumptions we would make if we expected these results and did not get blessed like Job got blessed. Would we be able to withstand an entire lifetime without thinking we'd messed up somehow -- like Job's friends assumed?? Frankly, I suspect that in general, we would not be able to do that.

Oh, it is easy to think that we might be able to do it. But really, sit and imagine for a while that you lost your home. So, instead of sitting at home and imagining this, why not go outside, sit on a curb, and imagine what it would be like to think you have nowhere to go. While you are out there, imagine that you have welts all over your body -- the very sight of you disturbs everyone you meet. You've lost your job, let's say for some unforeseen reason, but your former co-workers see you in the street with these new welts all over your body. Your wife leaves you, your children die, and your friends come to try and help you figure out what you did wrong. No job, no money, no family, no car, no home, no nothing. Just "friends" trying to help you figure it all out.

There is quite a bit of teaching going around that suggests if we do all the right things, we will prosper in the same way Job prospered once his test was over.

Hmmm....I don't THINK so. There is enough evidence in the Bible to suggest otherwise.

But, when I read Job 42, I understand how easy it is to believe this. And so, I will be pondering this for a while to glean what God would have me understand from the book of Job.

A Year Of Loving God

2008-01-14T21:45:00.001-08:00

That is my church's theme for 2008 -- A Year Of Loving God. Ever since I heard it, the phrase has been rolling around in my head. I've thought, ruminated, prayed, spoken, dwelled on it. What will this look like for me?

I've already failed in a way, I guess. We had a prayer meeting at the church this past Sunday. The intent was for our pastoral staff to pray with and bless families - it was called "Blessing Night". Frankly, I'm just sick at heart of going to family events as one. Downright exhausted from the effort of going to these things. Seriously, despite the fact that I have a wealth of friends that would have been there, I just simply could not even bear the idea of walking in there alone. And I'm tired of pretending almost to be a member of someone else's family - or at least that is what it seems like at times.

This is clearly not the way to being a year of loving God. It is His family I profess to belong to and surely that should be enough. Most times it is. Sometimes, though, like last night, it's not.

Lately, I've heard how important it is to finish well. I hope to finish this year much better than I started it.

When I Dwell On You

2007-09-23T20:08:00.000-07:00

When I dwell on you, Oh Lord,
I know you are here with me,
Though it doesn't always seem to be,
I know it's true
When I dwell on you.

When I seek you with my heart,
I know you will answer me,
Though it doesn't always seem to be,
I know it's true
When I seek you.

When I give my life to you,
I know you will care for me,
Though it doesn't always seem to be,
I know it's true,
When I give it all to you.

When you come for me, Jesus,
I will gladly go with you,
Though it doesn't always seem to be,
I know it's true,
I'll go with you.

I'll go with you.

By Kathy Brown
Just words that came into my head today.

Blythe

2007-09-20T21:53:00.000-07:00

I held a baby today - her name is Blythe and she is only 10 days old. She weighed in over 9 pounds at her birth, so most of us ladies applaud her mother when we see her! At least, we applaud her in our minds!

Blythe stretched alot while I held her, and I can only imagine that is a reflex from being curled up inside her mother's womb. You know how good it feels to stretch after sitting or sleeping in one position for just hours -- imagine months at a time! She is obviously very strong. I could feel that when she stretched.

There is something very comforting and soothing about holding a baby in your arms -- especially, I think, when they sleep on you. I could sit for hours with a baby sleeping on me, head resting just below my chin.

As I held Blythe today, I pondered the reasons for my lack of children and certainly had at least a vague notion that there must be some mistake, and I wondered again "why?"

I'm sure that question will eventually be answered. In the meantime, tonight I pray for Blythe. I pray that she love the home she grows up in, that she knows she is loved just for being her, that she is surrounded by family and people that realize what a gift she really is. I pray that whatever her dreams are, she feels confident and supported to achieve them all, and that she is a little light that shines in the people's lives that she touches. I know that she was a light in my life today!

I just don't understand

2007-09-10T22:12:00.000-07:00

So much love around me
And yet still
A critical heart.

So much love shown me
And yet still
A judgmental heart.

So much love given me
And yet still
A suspicious heart.

I just don't understand.

My Walk Home

2007-09-06T19:31:00.000-07:00

"Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content."
1 Timothy 6: 6-8 New Living Translation

One of my Facebook friends recently asked me where I would go on a mental vacation. She would go to London and shop with her 3 best friends. And for sure that sounds very appealing to me as well. But I captured my immediate thought as the question was asked, and found out something about myself that was quite heartening to me.

You see, Tuesday was a beautiful day in the Edmonton area. It was probably 65 degrees outside and there was a slight breeze. It was the first day of the new transit schedule that results in me not even having to transfer between buses on my commute from my new home in St. Albert and my office in downtown Edmonton. So, I sat in one of the raised seats on the double bus I was on and a few windows were open -- the soft breeze felt simply delicious on my skin. I know there was a glow of happiness about me right then.

I exited the bus a block from my apartment building and began walking down the road that leads to my home. A super-awareness came over me as I noticed the lush green trees and bushes that lined the street. A few of the trees on my right as I walked had beautiful orangish red berries in them that I could see gently swaying. There was a pretty rustic wood fence that appeared as well. The skies were blue with faint wisps of white appearing every now and again. There was the sound of birds and perhaps a dog barking in the distance, or perhaps it was a bit of laughter floating on the wind from the nearby high school.

As I walked down that little stretch of just one block, it seemed to me as if time suddenly stood still. Right then, it seemed like the longest, most enjoyable walk of my life. I slowed my pace to a languid stroll, and as I enjoyed my walk, absorbing the sights and sounds and smells, and as I yet thought of all going on in my life, I thought, "there is no place I would rather be than right here."

Thank you, God, for providing me a fairy-tale walk to my new home in a very real world!

Science

2007-08-19T14:49:00.000-07:00

You know, if I wasn't a Christian with a scientific mind, I would guess this was a four-letter word in the Christian community.

science (sī'əns) Pronunciation Key The investigation of natural phenomena through observation, theoretical explanation, and experimentation, or the knowledge produced by such investigation. ◇ Science makes use of the scientific method, which includes the careful observation of natural phenomena, the formulation of a hypothesis, the conducting of one or more experiments to test the hypothesis, and the drawing of a conclusion that confirms or modifies the hypothesis. See Note at hypothesis.
The American Heritage® Science Dictionary
Copyright © 2002 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

I am going on the record here to say that science and faith are not at odds with one another. I'll also go on record here to say I'll never be able to convince you of that. Ever. If you are scientifically oriented atheist, you will not believe me until you have your own meeting with God.

I've been thinking about this alot lately. Books have been published and reached the best-seller's list that supposedly present the best (i.e., most researched perhaps, or most convincing maybe) atheistic arguments against the existence of God. I purchased the most recently famous of these books - "god is not Great" by Christopher Hitchens. I wanted to read it because someone in my office was touting it and a pastoral friend of mine referenced it as well.

It was with great anticipation that I settled down one evening, book in hand, warm lamplight on, snuggled in a blanket, and began to read. I was sure I was going to unlock the secret of the atheistic mind with the reading of this book. I was even a bit anxious about reading what was considered such a strong book -- "how strong is my faith?" I wondered. I need not have been too concerned. Not because Mr. Hitchens is a poor writer (he's not), or because his arguments are weak (they aren't); but, simply because he and I think alot alike. In fact, he writes and communicates quite succinctly what I myself believed until recently.

After alot of thought, I can only suggest that the following is the difference between a scientifically oriented atheist and me in terms of believing in God:

A scientific atheist makes science his/her God. That is, the existence
of God has not been scientifically proven to him/her, so science wins
the argument. Science trumps God.

This scientific Christian (can't speak for all) attributes science to God.
That is, that God has given us curious minds that look for patterns,
formulae, cause & effect, etc., that reveal God's creation to us. So,
God and science do not conflict.

Science allows us to build good bridges. We develop engineering standards based on scientific study. Science allows us to observe when a medication helps a medical condition. We develope medicines based on scientific study and experimentation. Science in and of itself is not bad or good, it simply is. Science deals with predicability in my view. If something happens one way 2000 time is a row, it is like to happen that same way the 2001st time, right? That is science.

Science has some flaws, though. Engineering standards get revised because of anomalies or unexpected failures. I know a few people, one who I talked to today, who's medical condition so far is unexplained by science. He received a blood plate count of "3" recently (normal is 140 or so), but appears to be healthy in every way other than this count. They have retested and confirmed tests were not mixed up or anything. The doctor keeps taking his blood pressure and it is normal every time. The doctor says, "this doesn't make sense". So far, science has not explained this -- it is a new phenomena so to speak.

I'm not "dissing" science here -- I'm just pointing out that it is not something you can take to the bank. You can make predictions based on science, but if it was foolproof, we'd never have bridge failures and medicines would always work as predicted, etc.

Two days before becoming a believer in Jesus Christ, I told a friend that believing in God for me "would be like believing that the sky would be pink behind that cloud up in the sky when all around the cloud the sky is blue." It wouldn't make sense to believe that, right?

Then I met God.

And I've learned that the argument about the color of the sky behind the cloud is totally irrelevant to the issue.

I have a dream......

2007-07-20T19:24:00.000-07:00

"I believe in angels,
Something good in everything I see,
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me......"

Yes! I went to see "Mamma Mia" last night. My favorite song is "I have a dream." Very poignant.

I do believe in angels. And I do believe there is something good in everything I see. It has been made clear to me over and over and over again that God works in all situations. Even the situations that make me think "Where is He?"

There are so many angels around me -- I hope I will be an angel to someone.

Who Am I?

2007-07-04T23:15:00.001-07:00

Poem: "My Family"
By: Kathy Brown (probably in the mid-1970's: hopefully, I wasn't any older).

I received this poem in the mail today from my cousin Dawn. Apparently, I wrote it many years ago, as a young teen. She found it amongst paperwork in the "Mack" household. I find this quite repulsive as to me it shows a critical and judgmental spirit in me at quite an early age. I wholeheartedly apologize to my family members for any rotten thing I've thought or said over the years. Good grief. Sometimes I wonder, "Who Am I?"

Daddy knows how to argue
So that you will never win
Mom knows how to make coffee
That's as black and strong as sin.

Dale knows how to throw a punch
Just like Missy Mack
Judy is cold and distant
But she gets it all right back.

Karen seems small and delicate
Till you hear her when she's mad
Jacquelines just the oposite
But is really just as bad.

This is my whole family
And it's all you want to hear
Cause if I told you about myself
It would take nearly all the year.

Nathan

2007-06-28T20:41:00.000-07:00

I wasn't really surprised to see him on the street. He always seemed very comfortable among "street people". And street people always seemed comfortable around him.

But actually, it wasn't by sight that I first recognized him today. I left work a little early to go to a new hairdresser to get my hair done - coloured high-lighted and cut, thank you very much. It has been too long since the last "do" and the frumpy look had to go. So, I made my way to the Epcor Building downtown and had a little visit with Dino -- my new best friend today! I was there for about 3 hours, which was well worth it! My hair looks fabulous!

I left with two muffins in hand and my wallet very much intact (great prices there), and made my way to the City Centre bus stop. Just as I was about to cross 102 Avenue to get to the stop, the light turned against me, and as luck would have it today, my St. Albert bus chose then to make its stop for passengers. With hope in my eyes, I ran across the street anyways (against the light), but to no avail. And so began the wait for the next bus -- I figured it would be about a half an hour IF I hadn't just missed the last bus.

There were alot of lame, hungry, drunk, drugged, smoking, yelling, cursing and begging street people at this stop today. I wondered if I would get to hang on to my muffins. I gave one away early on in my wait to a woman who asked me for change. As I listened to the chatter around me, I heard a familiar voice but couldnt quite place it. Looking around there were no familiar faces. A few seconds later, I heard it again.

That familiar voice was coming from a young man with a shaved head. His face was clean-shaven and he wore a nice suit. He carried a grey with orange trim knapsack and wore headphones connected to a CD player that was also gray and orange. It looked new. He wore sneakers as do many downtown workers around North America. All in all, a very attractive young man.

But wait, the last time I saw him, he had a head full of moppy dark red curls, held aloft from his head by a blue bandana. He sported a beard and wore very casual clothes -- jeans and t-shirts. He worked as a custodian at my church. Nathan.

I marveled as he either did not see me or he did not recognize me -- not sure which. I watched as he made a move to board the #9 bus to Northgate. At the last minute, he changed his mind, came and sat on the bench near me and made a call to someone to come meet him at Tim Horton's. He retied his shoes and started down 101 Street towards 104 Avenue. I watched and listened as he stopped a few feet away from me and spoke to a young black man that he obviously had not met previously.

As I listened, I thought "Ah yes, I know THIS Nathan." And as I listened, he told the young man about Jesus Christ. He spent ten minutes or so with the young man and invited him to a camp (Shiloh Camp or something like that). He gave the young man a business size card. And then I watched as he continued on his way. A block further, I saw him stop and do the same thing again.

Nathan. Good to see you!

Cesaria Evora

2007-06-23T22:29:00.000-07:00

I went to a concert about a week ago. The artist was Cesaria Evora, from Cape Verde, Africa. The language there is Portuguese and that is indeed the language in which she sang. What a phenomenal voice!

Her opening act was a band called Tcheka. Frankly, I can hardly wait to get a CD of theirs or see them in concert. Incredible. The rhythms that come of out this band from Cape Verde were fantastic, and not often heard here.

What a night.

Hens

2007-06-20T19:27:00.000-07:00

Well, it has certainly been a long time since I've posted, and alot has happened in the meantime. If you read my blog, you know that my mom passed away on April 13. I miss her tremendously and at sometimes very unusual times. Like yesterday when I was boiling eggs. Whenever I boil eggs, I think of mom. She was very particular about eggs being boiled or poached until the yolks were very hard. That is just something that has stuck with me, so I always think of her when I boil eggs.

I've moved into my own apartment in St. Albert, Alberta, and I am loving it. It is nice and quiet and I have complete roam of my home. I've lived alone most of my adult life, but have lived in a house full of people for the last 3 years. So, it is a relief again to have some space and privacy.

But, it gets lonely, too, and it is at those times that I want to call my mom. She had a natural gift for encouragement, and always mixed it with pragmatism as well. I find that I miss having that connection with someone who understands the past and present of me and so can offer good advice, knowing what I am really all about. I believe that I provided that same thing for mom once in a while, too.

I've been taking the bus from St. Albert to downtown Edmonton, where I work, and have been getting to know some of the ladies on the bus. I always choose to sit in the middle of the double bus, in the raised seats that face the aisle, and it turns out there are a regular group of women who sit in the same place. Today, there were 7 of us in the one spot, and as they were talking and joking with one another, I thought of how easily my mom would have fit into that group of hens. Even though she tended to be a bit on the quieter side, she always got along well in groups and would laugh and joke along with all.

I have a family here in Alberta, though, and a wonderful family they are, too. A couple of days after I moved into this new place, about 18 ladies from my church, North Pointe Community Church, surprised me with a grocery shower. I have never had anything like that and was totally surprised to be the "showeree" now as well! As they came into my apartment, they all sat down on the floor of the living room, and mini conferences started taking place. That is, every three or four people were having a conversation separate from the rest, so there were about 6 conversations going on. Rod, a husband of one of my friends who was there, commented later that it sounded like a bunch of hens. I just stood there for a couple of minutes and marveled at how easily these ladies socialized with one another and I LOVED the sound of their chatter all around.

There is something special that happens when a group of women gets together. Once my mom and sisters visited me in Arlington, Virginia, for a girl's weekend. What a hoot! I'll miss our little hen parties. But, I now have a group of hen friends that I look forward to having a hoot with now!

Thank you, God, for such a great family of hens who have spoiled me rotten with their generosity of spirit and resources as well. Thank you for an awesome church family who have welcomed me with open arms into their church and their community. I pray that I do the same for others moving forward.

Lavender Mornings and Periwinkle Nights

2007-04-21T20:53:00.000-07:00

“So I tell you, don’t worry about everyday life – whether you have enough food, drink, and clothes. Doesn’t life consist of more than food and clothing?”
Matthew 6:25 (New Living Translation)

Lavender Mornings and Periwinkle Nights

I hate the snow. I really hate the snow. Let me qualify that a little. I hate driving in the snow. When I get up on a workday and look out the window and there is snow for me to contend with, tears come to my eyes as I anticipate the stress of getting to work that day. Stress caused by the multitude of drivers on the roads that don’t appear to recognize that snow creates a condition requiring a slower and more cautious pace of travel. Stress caused by knowledge that I am going to be honked at for quite some miles as I make my way to work. Stress caused by the feeling that it just doesn’t seem right to risk my life to get to work, but that is the reality and the way of life today. Everything may be sacrificed for work. Work is top priority in this 24/7 world.

I was lucky this past Thursday. It had snowed enough Wednesday that school was closed the following day. Since it had taken me an hour and a half to get home from my job at the school district the night before (and generally, it would take 25 – 30 minutes), I breathed a great sigh of relief when the call came that school was cancelled on Thursday. Then I proceeded to catch up on e-mails, read, clean and make some calls. I met a friend for lunch, and as I drove out of my complex, realized 8 Mile Road was still not cleared. It was treacherous, in fact, and I was thankful again that I did not have to face it in all the traffic earlier that morning. All in all, Thursday was a great day – a snow day.

To make up for missing work Thursday, my department had to work Saturday. Saturday morning, I got up early, showered, dressed for work, packed a lunch, and with some trepidation, exited my apartment. It was a lavender morning. You know, where you walk outside in the twilight just before dawn and with the snow and the cloud cover and perhaps just a hint of light from an early sunrise behind the clouds, everything was twinkling and lavender. Flashbacks to childhood moments when we lived in a small town in rural Vermont came into my head. A moment when I was alone in the backyard building a snowman; alone until my mom came out to help with a big smile on her face. A moment when I had walked home from school between huge walls of snow and the tears rolled down my face because I was so cold. And when I reached our house, I knocked on the door. Mom opened it and I cried “I think I have frostbite!” I remember she laughed and pulled me in and fed me some warm soup or hot cocoa to get me warmed up. But I remember most being warmed by the warmth in her eyes and in her laugh. Those were lavender moments.

It snowed all day Saturday while we were at work and I felt some stress build up through the day – what would the drive home be like? Another hour and a half obstacle course filled with loud horns and obscene gestures?

I left just as the sun was setting. The roads were not bad at all and there was very little traffic out there that evening. As I got closer to home, the scenery changed from industrial to suburban, the sun disappeared, and nighttime descended. It was a periwinkle night. You know, the kind of night where it seems almost as light as day because the moon illuminates the clouds and the snow with its ethereal bluish light. Another flashback to Vermont. Mom asking me if I would like to do something very special one night – go ice-skating on a pond with a few other girls and their mothers. And I remember being so very excited as we left, bundled up in snowsuits, hats, mittens and scarves. In my young mind, I was sure it was midnight at least, but it was very light out. And here I was getting to ice-skate at midnight with “the girls”. That was a periwinkle moment.

Lord, thank you for the job that provides food and clothing for me. Thank you, even more, Lord, for a mom that provided lavender mornings and periwinkle nights to those around her throughout her entire lifetime. Thank you for her beautiful smile, her lilting laugh, her unfailing grace that allowed her to be joyful in all circumstances. I marvel at the beauty you create in this world, which my mom captured both in her spirit and in her artwork. Beauty that inspires treasured moments like these with my mom that I can call to mind when I begin to feel stressed during everyday life today.

By Kathy Brown in loving memory of:

Ann Marie Brown
1937 – 2007

Favoured Grace

2007-04-20T10:56:00.000-07:00

Time passed far too quickly for me.

I want to see mom's face again,
The laugh wrinkles in the corners of her eyes,
The impish Irish grin that showed the little gap between her two front teeth,
The beautiful freckles I was so envious of.

I want to hear mom's voice again,
The soprano voice that sung around the house when I was little,
The laugh that got us all laughing with its contagiousness,
The voice calling out "Bingo!" even as recently as Christmastime.

I want to smell mom's flowery perfume again,
The cinnamon she used to boil on the stove,
The turpentine she used to clean her paint brushes,
The candles she would burn in the kitchen.

I want to taste mom's salmon patties one more time,
And her extra hard-boiled poached eggs on toast,
And her oatmeal with raisins, pecans & brown sugar,
As well as her lowfat Dr. MacDuggal's spaghetti sauce with turkey sausage.

I want to kiss mom's forehead once again,
And hold her hand in an attempt to comfort her,
And touch the sparse hair that was once plentiful on her head,
And smooth the wrinkles from her brows that had not yet turned completely grey.

I am grateful that I will be seeing mom again in heaven,
Because of her faith and my faith in God,
Who sent His Son to die for our sins,
And my fervent prayer is that you will be seeing mom again, too.

Ann M. Brown (1937 - 2007)

2007-04-17T05:08:00.000-07:00

BROWN, ANN MARIE; age 69; of Commerce Township, MI; passed away April 13th, 2007. Beloved wife of Douglas Brown; daughter of Albert and Clare Tierney O'Brien; dear mother of Kathleen Brown, Dale Brown, Judith (Scott) Wager, Karen (Kurt) Jacobson, and Jacqueline (John) Bronicki; she is survived by three grandchildren Stephanie, Anna, and Alex. Thank you to all friends and family whom she loved. You can visit her web site and leave a note at www.caringbridge.org/visit/annbrown Memorial Service Friday, April 20th at 11 a.m. at the Universalist Unitarian Church of Farmington, 25301 Halsted, Farmington Hills. Memorials to the American Library Association at www.ala.org.

April 13, 2007

2007-04-13T22:05:00.000-07:00

My beautiful, wonderful mom passed away today at the young age of 69 years. I will miss her so very much. Please pray for my family as we come to terms with life here without Mom.

www.caringbridge.org/visit/annbrown

tears

For Mom

2007-04-10T18:17:00.000-07:00

Dear God I come to you tonight
To bow and give you all my fright
Of things that are and things to be
With mom, my family, and me.

Oh Lord, more faith is what I need
I pray my words become your seed
That grace and kindness, mercy, too
Flow out of me because of You.

I pray that mom is one of yours
And that she knows your open doors
That Christ is on her mind today
And she prays to you without delay.

I pray, Oh God, her time's not up
That there's life yet within her cup
Oh Lord, you know our need of her
My family's lonely pacifer.

My Lord, my heart be humbled yet
My sins, Oh God, you would forget
So prayers can flow from me to you
Because of love, not what I do.

In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Memories

2007-03-29T14:05:00.000-07:00

Click here for a little bit of my story!

Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes

2007-03-04T22:12:00.000-08:00

"So he took me in spirit to a great, high, mountain, and he showed me the holy city, Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God. It was filled with the glory of God and sparkled like a precious gem, crystal clear like jasper."
Revelation 21:10-11 (New Living Translation)

Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes

Do you know that song by Paul Simon and Ladysmith Black Mambazo? Such beautiful music that combines African and English sounds and words. I recently told someone that I thought the meaning of that phrase had to do with the diamond mining done in Africa and the hard work of the Africans in the mines. Wanting to confirm that belief, I've been trying to find references on the web. Well, let me tell you, I was way off base!

It was Thursday morning, as I left the house at about 6:45 am, that this song came to mind. It was pre-dawn, of course, and after closing the door on my way out, I realized it had snowed during the night. My immediate reaction was one of "Oh no - not more snow! Is this ever going to end!" Whine, whine, whine.

There is no great desire here for snow now, as we have certainly had our share over this very long, extended winter. It has been a winter in the prairies that has taken a toll on the spirits - the most common phrase I have heard over the last few weeks is "I am so tired." The second most common: "It has been so cold for so long!" Wearing the multitude of layers necessary to combat the cold gets tiresome around the end of March, and in rebellion, I’ve started to leave some things at home rather than weigh myself down with the weight and worry of keeping track of these items - things like gloves or scarves, etc. As if somehow, I could influence the weather by my rather pathetic actions.

It has also been incredibly gray this winter. Our province is called "The Sunny Province", but it did not live up to its name this winter. I'm not sure, but I'm thinking I might have some sort of seasonal mood disorder because now when I see the sun, I literally cry with joy -- little tears, but tears nonetheless.

So, like I said, the snow on Thursday morning was not initially a welcome sight. Until, in the quiet of the morning, I stopped and let my gaze take in the sight around me. It was really only a quarter inch or so dusting of really big snowflakes that had fallen on Edmonton. You know the kind. The kind that twinkle and sparkle like a multitude of diamonds in the dim light of the streetlights or the early morning gray/purple twilight. And as I watched my feet walking along their diamond-studded path to the day's beginning, I thought how often God introduces beauty into events and circumstances that are quite ugly or unwelcome. As if to say, "With everything, there is good and bad, beauty and ugliness, pain and comfort, etc. You will see both in all circumstances. What will you choose to embrace?"

Similar is our choice to know Christ. You don’t have to be very old to know that the joys in this world are temporal in nature. You can be happy in our job and lose it. You can make lots of money in our job, but you seem to spend it, and you need yet more, and more, and more, for greater happiness. You can love your particular office, and show it off to your family and friends, yet not be connected to your fellow workers. You can dump your problems on your spouse and temporarily find release, until your spouse gets tired of being dumped on . . . and then your spouse dumps you. You can love your house, but if it is empty, it will not satisfy you for long. You can love your food so much that it makes you overweight and reluctant to move, and then as you suffer joint pain or diabetes or any number of other ailments, you can come to hate that food to which you are addicted. You can love your wine until one day, you wake up and realize years have passed with little but bad memories to show for them.

There is one thing you can love safely that will never leave you nor forsake you – Christ himself. He died for the sake of your sins, so that you could know him intimately, mature with him in your heart, and yes, so you would see the holy city, filled with the spirit of God and sparkling like a gem. And perhaps, as you walk along the streets in that sparkling holy city, you will remember a time when you made a choice. A choice to walk with diamonds on the soles of your shoes.

As Paul Simon's song ends, so I chose on Thursday and pray to keep choosing:

"People say I'm crazy
I got diamonds on the soles of my shoes
Well that's one way to lose
These walking blues
Diamonds on the soles of your shoes"

Lisa's Birthday

2007-03-04T21:39:00.000-08:00

This is my friend Lisa, and the pic was taken at her birthday party last night. I've altered the picture to eliminate the view of my rolls of fat below. Ugh. The party was alot of fun -- friends included Diana & Paulo (Paulo is from Bosnia), Karyn, Karla and Lisa and I. A late addition was Thomas (from East Germany). Honestly, one of the really neat things about Edmonton is running across so many cultures.

So, I am grateful for my friend Lisa sending me this pic - motivation is what I will label it for now.

Ciao.

Ruthie

2007-02-23T23:02:00.000-08:00

If you live in Edmonton, if you are a fan of gospel and/or the blue, and if you did not go see Ruthie Foster and her band at the Citadel today (or rather yesterday - it's late!), then you missed the boat, let me tell you.

They rocked. And I mean ROCKED.

Although Ruthie sings a variety of different styles -- gospel, blues, country-ish, folk, raggae -- personally, my favorites were in the gospel & blues arena. And I have to admit, particularly in the gospel area. As I listened to her sing "Walk On" and "Woke Up This Mornin", I felt certain I would be hearing these tunes again in heaven. But it was nice to experience a little bit of heaven on earth tonight. Her first encore song was a rendition of "Old Susannah" that brought the theatre to a complete silence with Ruthie's simple, pure voice accompanied by the guitar, taking a delicate tone.

I saw Ruthie on "Austin City Limits" on Detroit Public Television a few years ago - I heard this voice coming out of the television, and wondered who had such a heavenly voice. I remembered her name, and when I saw she was coming to Edmonton, had to get tickets. She was even better in person than I remembered her on television. Just incredible.

Ruthie's stories are completely engaging and give the audience insight into the source of her song-writing. As well, Ruthie doesn't seem to be caught off-guard by anything, including mishaps on the stage, handling all with a personal charm.

The all-female band was a phenomenal backup. Stephanie Blue (don't think I'll ever forget this name) played awesome organ and synth, Ruthie's cousin (sorry -- Stephanie's name is stuck in my head) provided flawless bass, and I don't remember the drummer's name, but I was completely enthralled with her talent and obvious passion for the music.

www.ruthiefoster.com

If I could do it all over again.....well, sign me up! Thank you, God, for this evening of uplifting and beautiful music, as well as good fellowship and catching up with Dawn-Marie.

Sometimes When It Rains, It Pours

2007-02-19T21:03:00.000-08:00

There's no easy way to say this. My Aunt Ellie died last night. The first of my "blood" aunts/uncles to pass away, and the second overall (the first was her husband, Uncle Ben). Most likely, it was a stroke as she had already survived two strokes. She wasn't supposed to be climbing her fairly sizable driveway, but footsteps were found there, so there is some supposition that she did just that.

Aunt Ellie was an amazing woman. She was a strong Christian who prayed for my immediate family constantly, as well as her family, church and church staff, her nation, missionaries, my church and church staff, etc., etc., etc. I remember calling her a couple of years ago because I could not seem to find enough time to pray every day for all the people I was praying for, and she gave me an organizational tip for prayer -- Mondays -- family, Tuesdays - pastors & church staff, Wednesdays -- for the sick......something like that. I'll have to look up the particulars because frankly, I have not yet mastered the art of this particular organization.

She was married to a man who came to Christ in his late twenties or early thirties, I believe. Before that, he was a hooligan to be sure. After he came to Christ, he still was not the easiest of men, but his purpose was definitely for Christ.

As children, we loved to visit Aunt Ellie & Uncle Ben, and their children, on their farm in upstate New York. Of course, it was great to be around the barn animals -- cows, chickens, horses, even the barn kittens (my personal favorites). But it was doubly awesome to be around Aunt Ellie. She was inevitably in the kitchen, canning, jarring, cooking -- but even with all that activity, she was peaceful to be around. You know what I mean, don't you? In her house, you escaped from the rat race of city life, into the arms of a country housewife. I'm sure it was difficult -- busy from sun-up to sun-down on the farm.

Their house was a typical farmhouse -- I don't remember all the rooms -- most of our time was spent sitting at the table in the kitchen. I know they had a dining room and a living room on the main floor -- on chicken-killing day, I would pound on the piano in the living room so as not to hear the cries of the chickens. There was a bathroom as well. Upstairs was really neat, I believe, with two large rooms -- one for their son Eric, and the other for their daughters Dawn, Mary and Melissa. Her house was clean and smelled good, her laundry always smelled fresh from being hung out on the line. I remember pitting cherries and husking corn on their porch steps in the summer evenings when we visited. I remember walking through some fields to see ducks on a pond (I think). I remember playing with a brand new kitten in their living room. But most of all I remember the gentleness that was Ellie - you just wanted to be around the positive, gentle, easy person that Ellie was.

Despite being busy taking care of her own family, when her mother (my grandmother) was ill and lived with my Aunt Carol for a time, Ellie would go to her sister Carol's house and clean each week. Aunt Ellie understood family.

Not that she was boring -- her brothers, especially Larry, loved to tease her, and she always took it in good stride. She was the 6th (I think) of 8 children, and it is a surprise that she is the first of those children to go.

I'm sure I'll think of more to write about Aunt Ellie, but it is late, and my bed is calling out to me. Tonight, I'll hope to dream of being at Aunt Ellie's house again. For me, it was a little slice of heaven here on earth. She, however, is now in a place that is exponentially more beautiful than that -- I can hardly wait to see her again.

Valentine's Day 2007

2007-02-14T22:51:00.000-08:00

Well, as I begin writing this blog entry, I notice there are exactly 2 minutes left of Valentine's Day 2007. Up until a few hours ago, it was a good Valentine's Day. I received a couple of e-valentine cards, there were good treats in the office and we had a fun day.

I've made a few friends in the past 4 or 5 years that have very special Valentine's Day stories. It appears that this day is often chosen by God to reveal himself to people! My friends Larry and Jim both accepted Christ on Valentine's Days in the past. Their stories are pretty awesome, let me tell you.

Ten years ago today, I was on my way to Florida to meet my mother and her family to travel to the Bahamas for a week. Mom's brother Mike was getting married and since my dad did not want to go, I convinced Mom to go with me and experience island life. It was a grand time indeed -- we danced the Macharena (sp?) on the beach, we para-sailed, we laughed, we ate, we reestablished relationships with family that we don't often get to see - and in a wonderful environment, too.

Today, my mom was diagnosed with Stage 3 Lung Cancer.

I can't express the grief I feel that one who has really and truly sacrificed her own life (she has degrees, but stayed home with the kids), and sacrificed so many things for her children (i.e., me and 4 others) and her husband so he could go after his dreams, and still sacrifices just to keep peace in the family, has now to be faced with this challenge. I'm sure you might have experienced the same thing, after all.

Other than this horrible cancer, she is in excellent physical condition, which is very important for her prognosis of recovery. She has lived a balanced life, other than the smoking in the old days. In fact, she is one of the most moderate and balanced people I know, getting daily exercise, eating healthy, etc.

Ah, Lord, I pray that my mother has a better Valentine's Day next year and for several more years after that.

If you would not mind saying a prayer for my mom, I would be very grateful. God hears each one, and each one matters to him in a significant way. If you don't know how to pray, you can try this one:

"God, thank you for Ann's presence in the lives of Kathy and so many others for nearly 70 years so far. There are many who never see their children grow, never see their grandchildren, never retire, and alot of other nevers. Thank you for your grace in Ann's life. As a father who sacrificed His only son so others would experience your love eternally, you understand the grief of her family as she goes through treatments and therapies, pain, tiredness, etc. I pray that you draw her close to you and that she experience the comfort that you bring on a day-by-day basis. Lord, I pray that she selects the right treatments, that you guide her doctors/therapists/etc. as they work on her condition, that you fill her with the strength she needs, and that you bless her in the upcoming months with support, comfort, attention, and a full return to good health. In Jesus' name, I pray these things. Amen."

The Pickle

2007-01-29T20:41:00.000-08:00

Well, today was a great day. I have been quite low for some time now, dealing with situations that are either consequences of my own poor choices, or simply bad situations that unfortunately seem to occur over and over and over again in my life. Sometimes, I get the feeling I will never shake these circumstances – the “pickles” I somehow end up in – I must somehow be inviting recurring bad circumstances into my life. But not today.

There is no “real” or what you might think of as “tangible” reason for today to be a great day. I’ve had a severe cold or flu for one week and had to miss work last Thursday and Friday. On those two days, I was awake for about 12 hours out of the 48 hours. I forced myself to stay up for longer periods on Saturday and Sunday. Because of this illness, I missed lunch plans that have been in the making for months as well as a trip to Saskatoon with my friend Jocelyn to visit one of my favorite people in the world – Irene Stiller – a 90+ year old model of good living, I believe, and a new but dear friend. Oh how I would have loved a visit with Irene.

My project at work is plugging along at what seems like the pace of molasses. I’m running into stumbling blocks that are training me well, but putting me behind. There are good aspects of the delays as we are discovering gaps in data processing that need to be rectified, but I continually hope I don’t let anyone down, yet fear that I will (see paragraph one of this post for reasoning).

But, I’ve certainly prayed for some relief for what seems like a long time to me, so I attribute today’s removal of my feelings from my circumstances to God’s hearing and answering my prayer and his continued demonstrated mercy in my life.

The flu has not entirely left me yet – and so, at 4:30 today, I petered out and made a hasty exit from work. I just missed my bus, but hopped on another one that would require me to transfer. I met a few ladies on this bus and we had a good chat. Little groups form on these popular bus routes -- groups that see each other only or mostly on the bus. Relationships develop and bonds grow. These ladies today were in my age category and in all different categories of life – married, divorced, single, with children, without. Half an hour later, I transferred to the bus that would take me close to home.

I climbed on the bus, and just a moment later, a little boy, perhaps 4 years old, climbed on the bus, marched up to and plopped down in the seat next to mine. His feet did not even come close to the floor. He had a mop of reddish brown curls poking out from under a red hat with ear flaps that was quite askew on his head. I looked at him in surprise. His returning impish grin spread to his light brown eyes. I looked up to see his older brother sit down across the aisle and then saw his mom smiling apologetically at me – I shook my head to negate the apology. I can't resist conversations with the little ones.

So, I spoke to the little guy, “So, if you are going to sit next to me, tell me your name.”

He mumbled something like Peter, but my cold prevented me from hearing correctly, and I made him repeat it several times. Finally, his mom told me, “He’s been telling people his name is Pickle.”

I was surprised. "Pickle? So, Pickle, it is nice to meet you. My name is Onion.” He laughed quite charmingly.

Then he said, “My name’s not Pickle, it’s Dar…..”, but again, the cold in my head prevented me hearing the full name and after attemping several times, his mom helped again and said, “His real name is Darien.”

“Ah, so you are Darien the Pickle, and I am Kathy the Onion.” That earned me another giggle from the youngster.

He showed me a stamp on his hand, and I asked him where he was that he got that stamp. He told me quite a story, most of which I could not understand, but it sounded as if he was at his “Nana’s”. I simply nodded in agreement at most everything he said, and added "oooohs" and "ahhhhs" at appropriate times, and he seemed to think I understood. Listening to his chatter and watching his expressions was indeed a pleasant way to spend the time on the bus.

He asked his mother for a cookie. “Now, why would a Pickle want a cookie?” I asked, and was promptly rewarded with the laughter I was seeking in the first place. Ahhhh, how I love to make a child laugh!

He showed me how he chewed with his mouth closed, and we continued to talk in between bites and chewing. All too soon, we approached my bus stop. The Pickle’s mom asked Darien if he wanted to say goodbye, and to my absolute surprise and delight, he turned and gave me a big, huge hug and waved and said "bye" until I was well off the bus I am sure.

Ah, Lord, thank you for sending me a Pickle today!

My friend Nguyet's son Michael playing the Flute!

2007-01-10T21:54:00.000-08:00

Michael Flute

The Twelfth Day

2007-01-04T23:13:00.000-08:00

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas
I think I came to see
I need to take a break from blogging about me.

The Eleventh Day

2007-01-04T16:52:00.000-08:00

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas
My life did give to me
A big dose of reality.

:)

The Tenth Day

2007-01-03T01:23:00.000-08:00

On the tenth day of Christmas
Starbucks gave to me
A night of absolutely no sleep......

Which I am sure is going to make tomorrow's first day at NorQuest a bit tough!

The Ninth Day

2007-01-02T13:14:00.000-08:00

On the ninth day of Christmas
The Good Lord gave to me
A day of chores and such to keep me busy!

The Eighth Day

2007-01-01T08:34:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

The Seventh Day

2006-12-31T11:18:00.000-08:00

On the seventh day of Christmas
My good Lord said to me
"Prepare to spend this next year on your knees."

The Sixth Day

2006-12-30T14:13:00.000-08:00

On the sixth day of Christmas,
My Lord arranged for me
A day of total quiet
And peace.

Thank you, God!

The Fifth Day

2006-12-29T13:29:00.000-08:00

On the fifth day of Christmas,
The good Lord sent to me
The spirit of love and
Generosity.

The Fourth Day

2006-12-28T21:29:00.000-08:00

On the fourth day of Christmas
Peter & Daniela made for me
Some very good
Hungarian goulash soup.

Hey -- who said it has to rhyme!

Ciao! or should I say "Chow!"

The Third Day of Christmas

2006-12-27T13:13:00.000-08:00

On the third day of Christmas,
My family sent to me,
A picture of them all
On Christmas Day!

I miss them for sure.

On the Second Day of Christmas

2006-12-26T15:17:00.000-08:00

On the second day of Christmas,
My surfing gave to me
A beautiful illustration of
Four doves in a tree.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a72/Catnapping/4doves.gif

I can't help it the numbers don't work out! This was just too good a picture to pass up sharing with you!

The First Day of Christmas

2006-12-25T21:55:00.000-08:00

Christmas Day, 2006.

"Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love has been brought to full expression through us." 1 John 4:11-12.

That is the scripture I chose to memorize for today. I have evidence that God lives in us as I have certainly been on the receiving end of God's love being brought to full expression through others.

Firstly, through Bob & Joc opening up their home to me yet again on Christmas morning. It is certainly homey there and I just feel relaxed with them, Charles & Jen, and Cory & Jean-Marc. It was fun to chill out, and the dinner was fabulous -- the turkey was nice and moist, the stuffing was great -- I wanted seconds of everything, but I had evening plans, too. So, it was off to Rick & Laurie's..... how nice to be included in this family's holidays and get to learn a bit more about them. Like Laurie being a big fan of opera.... And the dinner was fantastic - another moist turkey, stuffing made with Dark Russian Bread, olives & pickled onions. Wow. And then a game of Apples to Apples.

And now to bed.....

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Advent, Day 24

2006-12-24T22:33:00.000-08:00

Christmas Eve 2006.

What a day. First, church in morning. The choir was excellent. And there's nothing better than singing Christmas carols. Some of the most successful evangelists were probably never called that. I was reminded today of Charles Schultz. How many times have I seen "A Charlie Brown's Christmas" -- every year for as long as I can remember. Which means that every year, Linus explained the meaning of Christmas to me. I didn't get it until about 4 years ago.

And I also was reminded of the people that wrote Christmas carols. How many times have I sung "Angels We Have Heard On High", "Joy to the World", "Oh Little Town of Bethlehem", "Noel", etc., and my personal favorite "Silent Night". I've been in choirs and sung these things, and I'm sure I wondered about them.

The arts - in this case, television and music - have provided wonderful ways for people to share the gospel of Christ with an audience that is often not receptive in any other way.

So, I came home from church and made bruschetta -- it turned out decent, but the bread (I used a french bread) was a bit chewy for my taste. I don't honestly know if they lost their crispiness in the bags I put them in or what, but I need to figure that out for the next time. The recipe I make for the topping contains shallots, chives, ricotta salata cheese, balsamic vinegar, and tomatoes. Yum, Yum......................Yum. Can't beat it for flavor burst.

So, it was off to the Candlelight Service at 6 pm, after picking up Peter. It was an awesome service indeed.

Then I spent the evening with friends, and we had fun playing games -- first Jenga, then a pig game, then Mad Gab. Mad Gab is hysterical. Then home (actually house sitting) .......just under an hour ago. The kitchen is a disaster area -- sorry Steve -- so I should probably clean it up tonight.

This year, I've missed being with my family a bit more than usual. Perhaps because it has been a really, really tough and disappointing year all the way around. To keep it in perspective, though....let's take a look at some of the biblical people -- were there any people in there who had tough and disappointing years?

Hmmmm....I wonder how David felt hiding from his king, Solomon, for 7 or 8 years. What did he do on his holidays? Or how about the year he got kicked out of his own city by his son Absolom? Or the year when he fell so far into sin that it cost his son his life -- not to mention the man he unjustly killed?

Elijah probably did not enjoy the holidays after running for 40 days straight when threatened by Jezebel.

In prison, wrongly accused by Pharoah's wife, Joseph probably did not dance with glee at any holiday gatherings.

How about the year Cain killed Able. Probably not such a good year for Adam or Eve. Mother's Day would not have been a good one for Eve that year.

The list just goes on and on and on.

Imprisoned for his faith, I'm thinking Paul, though he made the most of his circumstances, probably may have "dreamed" of or at least thought of better holiday celebrations that could have occurred.

In fact, I can't think of one person in the bible who never had a bad, bad, really bad year at some point. My problems seem really, really insignificant at best in comparison. Other than Jesus. By my standards, his last year would have been horrendous, wouldn't you say? After being sent to save us, he got rejected, beaten, jailed, tortured, and crucified. That would be far worse for me than this past year. And yet, might he not say it was his best year? He fulfilled his mission and with his sacrifice, he saved any who believe in him.

The activities today certainly, including the writing of this post, have certainly kept the self-pity at bay! Thanks, friends! Thank you, Jesus. I hope to get to know you better this year.

Advent, Day 23

2006-12-23T12:43:00.000-08:00

I feel like a million dollars right now. Seriously. It is my mother's birthday today. My mother is in Michigan and I am here in Edmonton. So, I found her the perfect e-card for her birthday -- she is an avid Scrabble player, and I happened to find a Scrabble e-card. Then, I sent her flowers. A Christmas centerpiece actually. I debated about whether to send a mix of flowers and treats, but figured she would be having whatever treats she wants anyways, so the flowers were the better choice.

I waited a couple of hours after placing the order online, praying that it would be a good quality arrangement and that she would be home to get them. Then I decided I would call my sister Karen, who is living there right now, to make sure someone was scheduled to be home at most times during the day to receive them. So, I called, and Mom answered:

"Hello?"
"Hi, Mom, it's Kathy."
"Oh hi." I heard Maggie barking in the background. "Get back!" she ordered Mag. "Just a minute, Kath, there's someone at the door"........ (I heard the door open) ........ Yes, that's me ....... They're for me? ...... Oh, they're lovely! ......... (she finishes her conversation with the delivery man and comes back to the phone) ......... I got flowers."
"Aha. That's nice."
"Do you know who they are from?"
"Probably from me!"
"Probably?"
"Unless someone else is sending you flowers!"
She laughed. "They're gorgeous. Thank you."

We talked for a while. Like I said, I feel like a million dollars. I knew I did something right. Mom has always loved flowers and centerpieces, though has rarely indulged herself as both my parents are wise spenders.

I was Mom's first child, born in 1961 when she was 24 years old, about 13 months after marrying my father. I wonder how she felt, carrying me around, not knowing really what it would be like to give birth -- the risks, the pain, not to mention the complete change of life! I know that I was treasured and loved by her (and my father). And I know I was very special to her mother as well, as I was her first grandchild. Certain traditions carried down to me -- my middle name is Marie as is my mom's as well. The first girl in all the families of the O'Briens were given that middle name.

I can only imagine what it must have been like for Mary to be carrying Jesus around for 9 months. She knew she was carrying God's son, but must have wondered about the risks (they sure did not have the same health care as we do - and He was born in a manger!), the pain, and I can't imagine what she thought about the change of life coming to her! I'm sure there was fear. People were looking for her and this baby she had - they desperately wanted to get rid of Him.

Jesus came here and experienced life as a baby, growing child, teen, young adult, and then a man. He was treasured and loved by his earthly parents as they took care of him, nurtured him, etc. So, I imagine that he experienced this kind of a million dollars feeling at some point when celebrating his mom's birthday, after coming up with just the right gift or present. Is that too earthly for him? I don't think so. If it wasn't for a birthday, then it was for something else.

Everything we do is supposed to honour our Father in heaven. One of those things we do that honours HIm, is to honour our mothers.

This day is for Mom. Thank you, God, for my mom -- she's the best!

Advent, Day 21 & 22

2006-12-22T08:51:00.000-08:00

Advent, Day 20

2006-12-20T16:12:00.000-08:00

I am grateful for Slovaks today. Yesterday, I picked up Peter and Daniela - both Slovaks - and brought them back to the house where I am housesitting. We had a movie night last night. And then we slept in this morning. Daniela made a great casserole this evening for dinner. In it there were potatoes, sausage, eggs, onions, sour cream and cheese. Can you think of any better ingredients???

Last year, another Slovak lived at the same room & board I live in - her name is Helka. This year she is back in Slovakia and I miss her very much. This is her picture, and you can link to her blog on the right if you like.

Anyway, each year, my Christmas has usually been made better in some way by Slovaks that are around me.....

Advent, Day 19

2006-12-19T20:47:00.000-08:00

I'm stealing this from one of my blogging buddies - Jared. So, I tag Jess V, Brianna, and Rach.....

1. Eggnog or hot chocolate? Egg nog, of course - hot chocolate is for the rest of the year!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? I would never question Santa as to what he delegates to elves or reindeer or anything else…. J.

3. Colored or white lights on your tree or house? No house, no tree. However, in the future (hopefully), colored will be my choice.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Is THAT what you are supposed to do with it – no wonder I’m still single.

5. When do you put your decorations up? End of November.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Turkey w/stuffing.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child? Visiting grandparents.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I can’t even remember.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Never.

10. What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for him? This year, biscotti.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? I love snow…..I just hate driving in it.

12. Can you ice skate? I can put on skates - hopefully, that counts.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? It is so sad, I can’t remember a particular favorite at all.

14. What's the most important thing about Christmas for you? The single most important thing is Christ’s coming – the first time and the next and last time. I love church on Christmas Eve and on Christmas, too.

15. What is your favorite Christmas dessert? Pumpkin & Mincemeat pies.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Watching the original “Grinch” and “A Charlie Brown’s Christmas.

17. What tops your tree? Nothing this year!

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? Both.

19. What is your favorite Christmas carol? Silent Night.

20. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum? Yum!

21. When do you take down your tree? Sometime after I put it up!

Advent, Day 18

2006-12-18T20:02:00.000-08:00

Check out this daughter of one of my friends here - is she an awesome piano player, or what!?

winter wonderland 008

Advent, Day 17 -- See Day 16

2006-12-18T00:16:00.000-08:00

Oops. Missed a day..... :)

Advent, Day 16 (I think)

2006-12-17T23:55:00.000-08:00

Well, the days are starting to run together. I'm thinking that is the sign of the "Christmas Rush". But today was certainly a good day.

Woke up 15 minutes after my alarm started to ring. I don't think I've ever actually slept while the alarm was ringing! Went to church and saw people I now see very little of...that's a bit depressing. But church was good. Pastor Bob talked about King Hezekiah and how it was thought at the time he was ruling that he was the Messiah. I never knew that, or if I did, it left my memory. He was called the many names that Jesus is referred to: Wonderful counsellor, etc. However, he was not the Messiah.

But there is going to be someone out there -- he may already exist -- that will appear to many of us to be the Messiah as well. He will gain a huge following and will be so good at deception that we will believe him. It is so important to be reading the Bible, and living the life the Bible recommends, seeking God in all of our actions and activities, and testing all bits of knowledge that come our way, so we can discern the fake from the "real deal".

Great sermon.

Later, Steve, Patty, Peter, Daniella and I went to the Christmas production at the church -- "Caught Up In Christmas", and were captivated by the performances tonight. My particular favorite part of the whole thing was the music chosen. It was gospel and upbeat for the most part, with a couple of tunes that had some complex jazzy chords in them that seemed more minor key in nature. But the story line was also excellent.

This little Christmas mouse (me) now must go crash and catch up on some sleep! Ciao for now.

Advent, Day 15

2006-12-16T00:13:00.000-08:00

Another late post!

Great dinner at Steve & Patty's home tonight -- Jana & Jason were there, along with Chantelle, Daniella, Peter and me. Earlier, I was not so eager to go because really, even though it seems like I should have plenty of time to do lots of things, time seems to run out rather quickly. I've baked alot of biscotti now, but haven't had time to bake all that I need to, and haven't had time to shop for gifts either. It is never fun going and getting gifts when you haven't shopped in return. Luckily, I had shopped for the girls - Jana, Chantelle & Daniella. Not so lucky for the others, though......

Anyway, it has been a long but great day...... hopefully, I will come up with some interesting posts for this blog soon. For instance, one of my blogging buddies has recommended Polar Express (the movie) to me, so maybe I should do a review here once I have viewed it. Hmmmmm.....in the meantime, you can check out his great blog. Just look on the right hand side of this blog and click on "Jared"......have fun!

Goodnight and Good Luck!

Advent, Day 14

2006-12-14T22:52:00.000-08:00

Tired. Very tired.

Went to Bible Study Fellowship this morning for my last time. *sigh* The study on Romans has been great. We had a fellowship afterwards at Jen's house on the south side of Edmonton. Her home was beautiful. I got to pet Ella the cat - it has been so long since I've held a cat - it was great. They have two large labs and a chinchilla as well.

Jen's husband made vanilla lattes -- yum yum, and we enjoyed Christmas goodies as well as some shrimp and antipasto as well. I took the bus home from Southgate and it took a while.

Got home quite late - say about 3:30 pm, and received an early Christmas gift - my work permit for work at NorQuest was in the mail - that, for sure is a result of prayer! Went out for coffee with a friend and then it was quickly off to a wedding shower this evening and am finally home. I'm probably the least busy I have been in ages and ages, yet what little busyness I have is wearing me out. As much as I love Christmas, I really dislike being overly busy for very little purpose!

So, off to bed I go.

Advent, Day 13

2006-12-14T01:08:00.000-08:00

Well, this is a very late post! The day was packed -- not as I expected, but was packed nonetheless. Since the others in the house are pretty much done with exams, there's alot of "hanging out" that is going on here. I love the young adults for sure -- they touch my heart in so many different ways. I never really felt like I was a young adult - never really experienced fellowship with my peers at that time in my life, and was always old for my age. I wonder if this time has been one way that God has allowed me to sort of "be" a young adult. The time here at this house, though, has to come to an end.

I talked to my mother earlier today. I love mom. That's a given of course. But I love being around my mom. She is quiet. Oh, she has always liked a good party, and loves to play board games and all, but the rest of the time, she just doesn't make a lot of unnecessary noise, or talk unnecessarily. She is contained and doesn't dominate the area or force herself, her ideas, opinions, whatever, on anyone.

At Christmas, the house is decorated well, but not flashy, if you know what I mean. Subtle touches of Christmas all over the house. Very warm, inviting, yet peaceful. No visual noise.

I need some quiet again, and as I take off to housesit beginning this Sunday, I look forward to just reading the paper every day, with a warm cup of coffee and perhaps a bagel. Ah, the sweetness of a quiet beginning to the day, and a quiet ending to each night.

Good night!

Advent, Day 12

2006-12-12T08:42:00.000-08:00

I love Santa (see here). I love God more and am extra glad right now that God never gets flats!

Advent, Day 11

2006-12-11T23:55:00.000-08:00

Tonight, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" was on television. You know, there are two television shows that really have a Christmas meaning to me - "The Grinch" (as referenced above) and "A Charlie Brown's Christmas". For some reason, these two shows really touch my heart. They are funny for sure, but there is something more. They have certainly stood the test of time, haven't they?

As far as movies go, "Miracle on 34th Street", "White Christmas", and "A Christmas Carol" (with Alec Guinness as Scrooge) are my favorites. They speak Christmas to me. Nothing made in the last 20 years seems to do it for me at all.

So, I asked the young adults here what were their favorite Christmas shows/movies. The only I've heard come back is "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" with Chevy Chase. Ugh.

Anyway, it does not seem as if real Christmas Classics are being made much anymore. Why not?

Advent, Day 10

2006-12-10T16:21:00.000-08:00

What a strange day.

First, a sermon that I won't forget -- oh, I'll forget the details, but not the essence. The essence of sermon today, at least for me, was that Jesus' coming to earth did not, and was not meant to, remove despair, sadness, hardship....His coming to earth was to give us hope. He is my Savior; He is the Savior. I wonder if those I sat next to in church were moved as much as I was when Pastor Bob talked about "just give(ing) everything you know about you over to everything you know about Him." The very words that so encouraged me to do just that a few years ago.

The reminder that He is there when you are broken is such a necessary reminder for me, and I imagine for lots of people. I have a hard time imagining that this Christmas is going to be anything but a struggle with loneliness, and not the kind of loneliness that goes away with a busy schedule and lots of people all around. Christmas is such a marker every year; a point at which a review of the year takes place. And this last year wasn't good in many respects.

But, if you check out the scripture Pastor Bob used today - Isaiah 9:1-7 - you will see that just as Isaiah was speaking about hope to a people who were broken and beaten and in despair, he speaks to us through the scripture, assuring us that there is hope for us even when we are broken, beaten and in despair. "Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress." (Isaiah 9:1 NIV)

It sure does not seem like it sometimes, but God is in our midst at all times.

It is easy, as Pastor Bob suggested, to get down with all the things in this world that can cause us distress. Just watching the news can lead you down a path of despair. But then, I think of all the people who don't watch the news -- they have no TV, no home, no family, etc., and their path of despair. I think of all the people who are busy shopping, shopping, shopping, but will not receive the gift they long for or perhaps the gift they need. People from all walks of life have issues at one time or another. I hope they hear Isaiah's message and let it sink in - maybe they won't "listen" right away, but at some point wonder what gave Isaiah hope in the midst of the despair surround him.

One of my friends has just recently been to the hospital and was diagnosed with "exquisite pain". In the medical sense, exquisite means "intense, keen or sharp". Jesus himself suffered "exquisite pain" - for us. Some people don't think this makes sense. Think about it, though. Jesus was sent to us as a Savior. He becomes our link to God - in fact, the only way to God is through Jesus. Jesus is our intercessor. God sent his son in the form of man, and that man experienced the suffering, the temptations, the "exquisite pain", that we have.

I thank God for being my Comforter. For understanding our "exquisite pain" through personal experience. As rotten as things can seem once in a while, without him I would be in despair with no hope -- far worse off than I am now! I look forward to meeting him.

Advent, Day 9

2006-12-09T23:01:00.000-08:00

The Butterdome.

What a name for building! I believe the name comes from the yellow color of the large exterior of this sports facility at the University of Alberta.

Today, that facility was filled with various craft vendors. I haven't been to a craft show in so long, it felt marvelous to be there with Carla. We got there about 10:15 a.m. and left about 1:15 p.m. I could have stayed even longer!

There was one piece of art I would have loved to have been able to give somebody. It was a piece of art with some very simple pebbles that were shaped like people. The people were sitting in a circle and the title of the piece was simply "Our Circle" if I remember correctly.

We tasted some fine specialty foods, including chocolate covered toffee that was absolutely divine and something called Cowboy Crunch that was also great. Dips, sauces, coffees, ciders . . . they were all there and they were all tasty.

After making it through the craft sale, we went to Vi's for Pies for about an hour.

It felt very Christmas-y to be out and about today, even though it was warmer than expected.

Lord, thank you for a great day of fellowship, fun and foodstuff!

Advent, Day 8

2006-12-08T11:01:00.000-08:00

Since I am an Edmontonian now, I figured I would put a couple links out here about Christmas activities and events in Edmonton.

http://www.edmontonplus.ca/portal/eventSearch.do?&siteId=1&section=98&pageIndex=0&maxLinkPerPage=100&maxPagePerSection=5&theText=christmas

http://www.edmonton.ca/portal/server.pt/gateway/PTARGS_0_0_272_214_0_43/http%3B/CMSServer/COEWeb/arts+culture+and+attractions/christmasholidayactivitiesgiftideas.htm

And, of course, I can't resist plugging some activities at my church - North Pointe. We have a Christmas offering to the community called "Caught Up In Christmas." And our Christmas Eve service is an absolute treat! Check out our site at:

www.northpointechurch.ca

Advent, Day 7

2006-12-07T07:42:00.000-08:00

What is Advent?

I have to admit, when growing up, I thought an Advent Calendar was simply used to count down the days until Christmas. Our family usually shared one advent calendar that hung up on the refrigerator and we took turns opening a window. In my head now, I can visualize those lovely advent calendars with their Christian scene - perhaps of the baby Jesus in a cradle, or perhaps of the three wise men in their long robes with staffs in their hands and gazing upon a huge star in the sky. The colors were usually beautiful and the calendar would have sparkly glitter sprinkled over it. If we held the calendar up to the light, the little windows when opened looked like stained glass, or so I thought anyways!

My parents were raised Catholic, but we were not, so I'm not sure when I started to wonder about the religious significance of the pictures on the Advent calendars.

Over the past week or so, I've been looking for little tidbits to put out here on this blog for fun and for my own edification, and I've read a little bit about Advent and its meaning. And though I skimmed the words many times, I have to say that its significance escaped me until a few minutes ago. According to wikipedia, "the season of Advent serves a dual reminder of the original waiting that was done by the Hebrews for the birth of their Messiah as well as the waiting that Christians today endure as they await the second coming of Jesus the Christ."

Well, first of all, now I am wondering how the Hebrews "waited" for the birth of their Messiah. What did they do to prepare? Or did they just go about their daily lives in their waiting period? I certainly can't recall anything specific right now from my own readings, but I'll be looking this up tomorrow.

And then, I think, how am I supposed to wait for Christ's second coming? What should I be doing to prepare as I journey through this life, travelling on various roads, towards Him?

I remember when I was preparing to move to Edmonton. Ah, I was so very excited. I wanted to make sure I was as unencumbered and as free as possible, as I understood that God can use those who are free to focus on Him to a great extent. So, I payed my bills. I got rid of alot of stuff I did not need, though I kept some stuff in storage. I got my documents in order. I said my goodbyes to my family and friends. I prayed constantly to make sure I was doing the right thing. I got the car fixed up and packed it just with bare necessities really. I made the rounds to favorite restaurants and shops for a "last taste" of the Detroit area. I lived for a few weeks with my folks as I waited to depart. Though some of these tasks were not fun for me, I did them all with a great joy and anticipation of what I knew was going to be a great adventure.

And as I am here in the midst of Advent, I wonder if I am living and taking care of business with that same joy and anticipation as I had for beginning a new life here. Are there debts I need to pay? Do I have things in storage that need to be dealt with (i.e., baggage in my life)? Have I given my family and friends up to God or do I try and solve their life issues for them? Am I in prayer as much as I should be - am I still asking God's direction? Am I travelling with just what I need, or is stuff cluttering up my life? Am I a living here for today - getting out into the world around me, experiencing it, and sharing with others? Who am I hanging out with while I wait for Christ's return?

In thinking about these questions, I am grateful for this time of reflection, a time many have named Advent.

Advent, Day 6

2006-12-06T15:51:00.000-08:00

Christmas Linguini.

"Hi. My name is Kathy, and I am a recovering cookaholic." I love to cook. Have I mentioned before that to me, a meal, or even just one dish, is a piece of art. If I may say so myself, I am a fairly decent cook. At least, that is what I thought until . . .

Tuesday. We had a small luncheon at the church to promote an event to some local pastors. I was to shop and cook for the meal. A cream sauce on pasta was requested. Well, I've not made an alfredo or any other kind of cream sauce, so I looked up some recipes online. One recipe I found suggested combining alfredo with pesto for a tasty meal. I thought, "Great! I can get a regular basil pesto (green), and a sun-dried tomato pesto (red), and some prepackaged alfredo sauce, and thus make Christmas Linguini for the group!" Seems simple, eh?

The plan was to also do some garlic bread, and a simple salad. Monday night, I had already made three kinds of biscotti for the event (after practicing - see Day 4) and these were delicious.

Well, I layed out the biscotti -- looked great! Then poured balsamic dressing on the romaine lettuce and topped it with just a little parmegiano reggiano. Got the pasta cooking, and put the alfredo sauce into two pans and began simmering it. Panicked and decided not to do the garlic bread -- mistake because we had no margarine. The pasta sauces looked beautiful. In fact, when combined with the pasta, they looked great. However, the texture was absolutely horrendous. Quite starchy. In fact, usually when your dinner guests are quiet, it is a compliment about the quality of the food. In this case, I'm quite sure their tongues were simply stuck to the roofs of their mouths - thus, preventing them from speaking at all.

Because the pasta did not turn out very good, the bread without margarine or butter seemed pretty bland, and the simple salad seemed cheap. The only saving grace was the biscotti -- they say, always end on a good note. For sure it was the only good note of the meal!

Christmas Linguini -- great in theory, but practical application needs work!

Advent, Day 5

2006-12-05T18:38:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm reclaiming Santa. My first year as a Christian, I had a hard time figuring out why so many Christians disowned Santa. I have even a harder time figuring it out now. Today, I had a conversation with one such Christian, and the best I can come up with is that they believe Santa represents the commercialism of Christmas and is in direct opposition to Christmas' real meaning -- the celebration of the birth of Christ.

In all honesty, though, as a non-Christian, I did not think of Santa as a commercial being. I thought of Santa as a benevolent being. I know that in school we learned about St. Nicholas, but I have reinvestigated. What I read about St. Nicholas was very encouraging. Check it out at the link below.

Apparently, Nicholas was born into a devout, wealthy Christian family, and became a strong follower of Christ. His parents died in an epidemic and Nicholas, obeying Jesus' instructions to sell what you own and give to the poor, used his entire inheritance to help those in need.

There is much more information on the site referenced below. Although I have not done exhaustive research regarding Santa, I am persuaded to believe that he was as described above. Many differentiate between St. Nicholas and Santa Claus - I don't. For all those who claim that Santa is all about commercialism in North America, I disagree. But I hope that those with those claims don't participate in the very commercialism to which they are so opposed.

"Santa" means saint and it seems to me Nicholas is a pretty good example of what we as saints often claim we should be like. As such, if our children were to model themselves after St. Nicholas / Santa Claus, I think they would be well on their way to modeling themselves after Jesus.

http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=38
http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=235

Advent, Day 4

2006-12-04T13:50:00.000-08:00

I really do love the holiday season. I was operating in one of my blissful holiday moods Saturday and went to get ingredients to make Cappuccino Biscotti. Cooking and baking are two of my favorite things to do - it is a form of art as far as I'm concerned.

Anyway, the recipe seemed simple enough - you can check it out if you want at http://www.joyofbaking.com/biscotti/CappuccinoBiscotti.html .

The first thing was to roast the hazelnuts - then put them in a clean towel to steam, then rub the towel to "skin" the hazelnuts. Well, I don't know what happened, but I ended up with hazelnut skins all over the kitchen and many didn't peel off, so I painstakingly peeled them off with a knife. This took about an hour, I think, though the recipe makes it seem like a simple Step #1. I groaned from time to time, and noticed the students in the house started exiting the area.

The recipe next suggests using a handmixer for the dough. Okay, perhaps they are correct, if you could only cook the dough on the walls of your kitchen, because frankly, that is where alot of my biscotti dough ended up. I think I was laughing and crying at the same time at this point, and students would wander through every once in a while, but not say anything . . . wisely.

I think my biscotti took a good 3 hours to make, but the students tried it and said they liked it. So, although it was excrutiatingly painful to make, it was also quite fun really. . . or perhaps real funny! I've decided to make biscotti for my holiday baking.

Happy Advent, Day 4.

Advent, Day 3

2006-12-03T12:52:00.000-08:00

Secret Sisters.

One of the things that has meant the most to me on becoming a Christian and participating at my church is the ministry we call "Secret Sisters". The lady standing with me in this picture is Rachel. She was my first Secret Sister on coming up here to Edmonton. I've told her story in a previous blog - if you care to read it, just go to: http://kathybrownsblog.blogspot.com/2006/08/rachel.html.

Well, I did not have alot of funds to expend on gifts for my secret sister - and there is actually a limit of what we are supposed to spend. But I knew it was not about any gifts. Secret Sister's purpose, at least in my heart, is to learn about someone in our church, and love and pray for them - secretly. A little note or something symbolic once in a while to let the person know they are in our thoughts is not a bad thing. But it is not the point.

I am happy to say that ever since that time when Rachel was my secret sister, we have remained friends and I know that we pray for one another. Through this ministry, I have made a life-time friend, who's own life has touched mine in a very profound way.

We usually wrap up the year with a little Christmas gift to our Secret Sister so I thought it was appropriate just to plug the ministry of Secret Sisters in this Celebration of Advent.

Advent, Day 2

2006-12-02T07:32:00.000-08:00

On the subject of snow -- and it seems like we have about a foot and a half here in Edmonton -- check out this website where you can make your own snowflake! The snowflake that falls and says "Your friend's flake" is one I made today for this second day of advent. Every snowflake that is made may help the Salvation Army receive a few more donated dollars during the 2006 Holiday Flake-a-thon! And if that isn't enough, click on the other falling flakes -- you will see that people from all over the world are creating a beautiful snowfall!

http://www.popularfront.com/snowdays/index.html?id=3105632

Advent Day 1

2006-12-01T21:36:00.000-08:00

I rose early
Though the sun did not;
Pale lavender clouds hung low
Reflecting on the white, white snow
That has created an early Christmas
In my heart.

Love wells up in me
Without my understanding why
As I walk about and talk about
This early Christmas gift -
Not always convenient
Except as a beautiful blanket.

Sometimes I think
I am still on the outside
For it is easy for me to see
That there is something special here
Though not everyone
Receives the gift.

-40 Degrees

2006-11-28T15:49:00.000-08:00

Help! It really is -40 degrees here today when you factor in the wind chill. Fahrenheit or Celsius, you ask? Doesn't matter - they are the SAME at -40 degrees. So, all my American friends now have perspective on the gravity of my situation here in Edmonton.

I decided to make a trip to the grocery store today. (I heard you call me an idiot.) I walked to the bus stop. A little over halfway there, I was convinced I was having a stroke. My head hurt that badly! Really, I did not know if I was going to make it. Luckily there is a little shelter there to wait for the bus. My legs were numb within a minute of going outside.

I walked down a road to get to the bus stop. The snow is now so packed on the road -- it is icy even to walk on, much more so to drive on! Ugh.

Baby, it's cold outside!

Whimsical?

2006-11-26T23:38:00.000-08:00

I recently heard a sermon that touched on a concept regarding worship services that quite intrigues me. The preacher / teacher talked about the fact that we might think that when the music begins on Sunday morning, worship begins. This teacher pointed out that our thoughts are incorrect -- we are merely joining in to a non-stop worship service. That concept is pretty cool.

Every moment of the day and night, someone somewhere is singing and/or praising God. When you begin singing and lifting your hands on Sunday morning, it is like you have dialed in to a webinar or something like that! I thought about that this morning (or rather yesterday morning) as we sang and praised God in church. I wondered what it must be like looked at from Heaven. I imagined that there might be a high-level angel in Heaven assigned to keeping the "Praise & Worship" station up and running, and every time someone or some group sings to God, they automatically "tune in" to the station. God hears our voices raised in song and sees our hands raised toward Him.

I imagine that when hearts are turned toward Him, and voices raised to Him, that it doesn't matter which songs are sung, which key they are sung in, which style is used, etc., because the notes, chords, tones, all get woven together in a perfect pattern for Him to hear. That what might appear to us to be noise and dissonance is to Him perfect harmony.

Family Thanksgiving

2006-11-25T12:22:00.000-08:00

"So, how did you cook the turkey this year?" I asked Mom on the phone earlier today.
"Oh, the slow method," she replied. "But it was nearly a disaster."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was already laughing inside. Every year it is the same. In fact, it is my favorite holiday tradition. The discussion about how to cook the turkey. A typical Thanksgiving eve and day in terms of turkey and dinner preparation might go something like this:

Mom: "Let's just do the turkey tomorrow, Doug."
Dad: "No, I'm going to do the slow method."
Mom: "You know it's always done early. Come on, let's just do it tomorrow."
Dad: "No, I'm going to do the slow method. It will turn out right."
Mom: "We go through this every year, and every year it's done early."
Dad: "It'll turn out."
Mom: "Okay, well, then you do it. Remember, we eat at 3 o'clock tomorrow."

Dad would put the turkey in around midnight at a very high temperature to kill off any bacteria. After one hour, the oven would be turned down, so the turkey would cook slowly, well, for about 12 - 14 hours, I guess! We would wake up to a heavy turkey smell in the house by 8:00 or 9:00 am.

Sometime before noon, perhaps even at around 9 am, another conversation would take place.

Mom: "Have you checked the turkey?" (to Dad)
Dad: "Go ahead."
Mom: "Doug, I knew it -- the turkey's done."
Dad: (no response)
Mom: "What do you suggest now, Doug?"
Dad: "Is that right?" (notice the total disconnect -- I think he is trying to think what to say.)
Mom: "No really. We told everyone to be here at 3:00."
Dad: "There's nothing I can do."
Mom: "That's just great. It will be cold by the time we're ready." Red in the face, and with a little sarcasm now, "Why don't you call everyone and tell them to come over now. How does that sound!?"
Mom to one of us: "He's not the one who has to do everything else."

I miss this holiday tradition, I really do. But it was good to hear about it again this year.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, how was it nearly a disaster this year, Mom?"
"Well, he put the turkey in at midnight. And then after an hour, thought he turned it down. But he turned the knob the wrong way and set it to broil."
I laughed.
"Luckily, though, a little while later, he thought he should check it, so, he caught it in time. But it was done around 6:00 a.m."

For My Canadian Family

2006-11-24T15:56:00.000-08:00

What were you guys talking about when you said "Michigan gets more snow than we do!" Please look out your window, then come back to the computer and look at the temps in Michigan for the next 4 days. My mother is playing golf there today. People, it can't snow there! I say we make a dash for the border!

Note as well that we are in sunny Alberta, yet the one "sunny" symbol here is for Michigan.

I feel so mislead......

For My Michigan Family

2006-11-24T15:51:00.000-08:00

I know after seeing this that you will feel very sorry for me. Looking at this weather comparison of the next 4 days in our respective areas, you must be saying "I wonder why Kathy even moved to Edmonton!" You aren't alone.... but for sure it wasn't for the weather! Please note, that the "-" symbol in front of the numbers is not a typo.

Sympathy gifts will be received gladly....